The End

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by Sanjay Mazumder, Mar 9, 2005.

  1. Sanjay Mazumder

    Sanjay Mazumder ~..::MASTERMIND::..~

    The End

    When the gunshots I hear
    I tremble with fear
    And I see another orphan
    Full of revange and grow a man

    I see no more spring anywhere
    But all the battles and wars everywhere
    The flowers don't even bloom
    But show their face full of gloom

    The blood glows no more red
    And I see one more cut off head
    So again the same story repeats
    Till the end of the world meets.
  2. rev

    rev New Member

    It's a real good effort. But rhyming words is not what makes a poem. For the sake of a rhyme....don't sacrifice the words you want to convey. Oh, check the spellings and grammer. All in all.....I think it was good and I hope to hear a happy one soon!
  3. tejas

    tejas ..........

    Good one, a little abrupt though. The message is good, but could have been put better. Work on it, you should be able to improve it. Keep it up!!

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