The End ******************************** When the gunshots I hear I tremble with fear And I see another orphan Full of revange and grow a man I see no more spring anywhere But all the battles and wars everywhere The flowers don't even bloom But show their face full of gloom The blood glows no more red And I see one more cut off head So again the same story repeats Till the end of the world meets.
It's a real good effort. But rhyming words is not what makes a poem. For the sake of a rhyme....don't sacrifice the words you want to convey. Oh, check the spellings and grammer. All in all.....I think it was good and I hope to hear a happy one soon!
Good one, a little abrupt though. The message is good, but could have been put better. Work on it, you should be able to improve it. Keep it up!!
