The Butterfly

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by ~Bish, Sep 14, 2007.

  1. ~Bish

    ~Bish The Illusionist

    Hiya,

    here it goes..

    I am a butterfly
    trying too hard to fly
    With every breath i take
    lot of things i try to fake

    this world looks lifeless
    my destiny in complete mess
    only thing which i m proud of
    is the freedom which i can show off


    there used to be a pink flower
    where i used to hide during shower
    don't know why i am missing her
    don't know why i am shouting from so far


    they say one prince came one day
    plucked and took her on his way
    still there are many flowers left
    but the one is gone where my heart was kept


    Is it a mistake to be beautiful
    or its a crime to be wonderful
    things come and go nothing remains
    happiness goes and brings lot of pains


    Heared some whispers in garden
    she died the next day when
    she was used for a while and thrown
    still her body lies dead on that stone


    Oh god,in next life please make her ugly
    but still would like to be her butterfly
    lost in her petals i will sleep
    smile sometimes and sometimes weep...


    ~Bish.
     
    i'm_not_neo likes this.
  2. #iR@

    #iR@ GANDI BACHI RELOADED

    SUCH AN AWESOME poem and NO reply?!!! wat has gotten into everyone... luved every line of it man! great flow i must say... keep riting :)
     
  3. madhuresh

    madhuresh madhuresh

    don't know why i am shouting from so far

    the only line whch has effect..... personally feel its now well written....its something crafted ...may be i am wrong...but that was the reason i didnt wanted to comment first
     
  4. i'm_not_neo

    i'm_not_neo el valor máximo absoluto

    Liked it...great work man.The poem changed it's course completely after the second stanza..

    I think you really have good skill in writing from the third person point of view..though this opinion is based on 2 of your best works so far (IMO)The Stone and The Butterfly...
     
  5. ~Bish

    ~Bish The Illusionist

    Thanx guyz.. luv u all..
     
  6. nils

    nils New Member

    awesome man.... just beautiful !
    I love metaphors
     
  7. nimisha

    nimisha .:Forum Leader:.

    touching..
     
  8. atooljoshi

    atooljoshi New Member

    hey man very good poem
     
  9. fairandlovely

    fairandlovely peeka-boo

    there used to be a pink flower
    where i used to hide during shower



    I dont like these lines but apart from this it was very nicely written. Hope to read more from you.
     

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