hello ppl... another poem i rote just rite now and like always looking fed to ur replies... not my sort of poem...i don't know i just rote it! won't say more... ur comments r welcomed LIKE ALWAYS! THE BEGINNING THAT NEVER STARTED! I can hear u breathing near me I can feel u touching me Although u r not here These winds that gush by me These droplets that stream down the pane Just remind me of every single moment I have spent with u From dusk till dawn I dream of u I think of u I cry for u I smile for u I fall for u I stand for u I live for u… ..my love.. I can see u smiling at me I can feel u standing next to me Although u r not here These whispers that echo in my mind This loneliness that mocks at me Just remind me of every single moment I have spent with u… Why did u have to leave so soon This was just the beginning The beginning of a life The beginning of a new dawn The beginning of a journey A journey with sorrows and joys I thought u would be there for me To wipe off my tears To protect me To save me… But I guess this is the end… The end of the beginning The beginning that never started! mmmm...... comments....
Glimpses of brilliance in an otherwise imagery(less) poem. These lines almost cross over to being lyrics, which in all fairness is good in its own way. I just know you can infuse more imagery into your poems and that you can do a better job. Bear in mind Hira, whenever i say something like that, know this, compared to most of what i read, you write absolutely wonderful stuff. I just want to get the best out of you with my critiques. Good job gurly. [EDIT] Changed your usertitle to something more fitting.
@ disturbed... WOW! thx a LOT MAN! great to have ur comments! i don't know wat to say... i am speechless.... and thanks a lot for the title cause man NOW I ACTUALLY feel that u realllllllllyyyyyyy do like ma stuff! :nw: thxxxxxxx!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :dance: @ astro... thx for the reps!
@ bubbly... THX A LOT GURL! :dance: @ pamposh... thx man! great to read ur comments! @ apurbajd... thx for the reps man! i was planning to change my user title back to wat it was cause i still think i ain't THAT good or even good to be honest! : but thx anyway! :rule: @ amit... WOW!!! THX MAN! :nw:
Don't you dare change your title. I'd have been disappointed if not for the last 3 lines. I loved it.
@ brj... WATEVER U SAY SIR! i actually had to read wat the last 3 lines were... THANK GOD THEY SAVED ME! hehe @ madhuresh... thx man! why does everyone tell me that my poems r like songs i mean lyrics! :think:
^^ amazing and awesome..that's all i can say....great one..still confused with your ID...is it name or what?
@ devilishly_ purs... THX A LOT! :nw: well... my id is #iR@... which is MY NAME... meaning that my name is HIRA and i have just ritten it in a way that NOT EVERYONE will understand! hehe clever ah? lol
amazing poem, hira..its definitely different from your other poems..but i like this......and the last three lines were excellent :nw: :nw: I didnt know you can be this romantic...well, you are my twin siter, no?? so you will always be romantic! :beer: :rock: usertitle = perfect!:nw:
@ angela... WOW!!!! thx GURL! yea u r my twin sister! oh yea honey... u have no idea how romantic i can get! lol
