Tears of Pain

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by rohailsak, Aug 22, 2006.

  1. rohailsak

    rohailsak New Member

    Tears of Pain

    Tears of pain flowing in the rain
    All my screams in vain
    Who was I to question
    Who was I to blame…

    They ripped my heart away
    My soul was gasping for the last look
    Who was I to question
    Who was I to blame

    Tonight I mourn my past
    I bury the ray of hope
    What is love?
    I question falling on my knees

    I have broken into flames
    Burning my memories together
    Who was I to question
    Who was I to blame
    Garima, BubblyMartini and nimisha like this.
  2. madhuresh

    madhuresh madhuresh

    good one..
  3. nimisha

    nimisha .:Forum Leader:.

    first two stanza makes a great start.. n seems this poetry gonna rock..
    but effect lessens in last two stanza.. ending is not that effective too.. may be u should add something in it..
    but no doubt.. good work..
  4. Sharmontime

    Sharmontime New Member

    nice poem dude....keep up.
  5. rohailsak

    rohailsak New Member

    thanks guys :) i shall take nimishas comments as part of my learning curve, ill relook into the poem and see if i can add something altho i wrote it some time back and seriously would not like to revisit that mood , since it is attached to a personal tragedy...
  6. BubblyMartini

    BubblyMartini !!!HAWM

    make it into a song..
    reminds me of tears in heaven..was that the inspiration..?
    and yh..add something more..kinda seems incomplete..
  7. rohailsak

    rohailsak New Member

    :) tears in heaven was not the inspiration , they were really tears of pain that compelled me to put my feelings on paper....
  8. Garima

    Garima Born to rule <img src="images/smilies/rule.gif" bo

    nice one....

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