My second attempt..... Those ups, those downs Those curves, those sounds Whatever happened… Just left me spellbound Your touch I Love so much Your lips Always asking for a Kiss That night When demands went high I couldn’t say no Just for us to satisfy Satisfy those needs Satisfy that greed Need to be with someone Greed to be complete with that someone We did What was suppose to be done At that time Bodies were two, but the soul was just one Those drops of rain Just added on to the passion Even the Moon was hiding somewhere That was a perfect occasion I swear on those drops of rain & on everything else that ever existed on this earth I won’t lie I won’t say…that I didn’t like that sweet pain. Please do comment.....
hmmmmmmmm ufffffffffffffffffff...............very steamy situation....nthng left to imagination... very gud very gud.
I knew u wud b the first one to read......:grin: Thank u thank u....par aisa kyu lag raha hai ki wo very gud sarcastic tha :think:
i felt it's not as good as ur other stuff... something's not right, i especially didnt like the usage of words like "demand" and "satisfy". i write my poems in one go and dont like to touch em again, but if u dont mind editing it, i'm sure it'll turn out jst as great as ur other poems
this is extraordinary!! you really are gettin confidence .. thumbs up from my side. ..... i am keeping this one!
Thanks Shak....:grin: to read this one on time @Trish...thanx for the advice bud...wud try...though m very bad at it @Vishwa....chill man...i dont want that title...as the nxt poem wud b same old crapy sad poem.... @merqury....wtf....is it not poetry:shock:??? @Nimisha....thanks buddy.
words are very expressive and yet leaving something to imagine.............good suspense .... :think: great work garima rohit astroguru26
Hey garima, Honest effort and it shows !! I m not an expert myself but i felt that somewhere u ve used words just to solve the purpose of rhyming... Like here... in both the paras... look at the last 2 lines while here.... u can see the beauty...even without a rhyming tinge. Keep up the good work !!
@Hira @Rohit Thanx dostoan.... @Knight_ki_gf....thanx dost... m trying to repair it :grin: will do it soon
garima, this is a nice poem...exquisitely written.... especially the last line...the way u end ur poems r really awesome... i like this poem.... hope u write some more poems of same stuff... for a change... anyways KEEP ROCKING...... abhi
wow..big transistion from sadness to hmm.........hott hott poem written at 2.30.............but well written...and ya ...thth last line rocks....... PSST :: i fell off my chair weni read ur first four lines initially........GARY has writtne this karke???...hehe..but nice...
To both Abhies...lol...thanks. @Manjrekar...well,,,do u remember in my last poem i told u & Shak that the nxt poem is not gonna be sad....i had three poems that day to post...so i posted this one first...this ws written way bk... last weekend to b precise...posted it on 24th @2.30 cos thats when i got free:grin:...gud that u liked it @u fell off ur chair :RollLol:
Hoooo... kool stuff .. rather horny ..LOL.. reps for sure... hehehehehehe.. u can write anything dear :beer:
well...in short->i liked it!!! just do away with that excess rhyming.... (boy this is only the third reply to ne of ur poems garima...i hope u dont presume nethin bad of my sudden stint here...!!!)
@Sachoo...lol...so u learned how to gv reps :RollLol: Thanks @Taxyse...I-I sir :grin: :secret: I dont assume or presume things....so dont worry
That's really Extraordinary. Superb. Let me tell U, I really enjoyed ur poem. It's been long that I did read such a poem. Keep it up!
