Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by astroguru26, Feb 21, 2006.

  1. astroguru26

    astroguru26 New Member


    your comments

    now sunrise looks like pale in colour
    the lovely rainbows were like sword hanging in sky
    the compassion in eyes seems dead..
    the smile looks sarcastic
    the softness goes into oblivion..

    just a second while you told me...
    i am not in love with me now...
    its just i have given the name of love to our friendship

    the intensity of words sucked me...
    the world seemed as unworthy place to live..
    perfect time to die.....said to myself

    u never looked back...
    with nice stride you walked out
    thanking me for all i have shared ..
    giving blessing for being always nice more time

    listened what you said..
    as mute.....
    unable to cry this time to say ...please
    never leave me....

    the soul was motionless
    but the tide were hitting the shores of my
    life..overthrowing what i have

    love and enthusiasm for life was stinking foul...
    sitting alone on beach seeing my life sunset...

  2. madhuresh

    madhuresh madhuresh

    good work ...but i would also say u worked less on this one...Ek bade shyaar ne kaha hai

    "ho ke maauss na unn shaam se dhalte rahiye
    zindagi bhore hai suraj se nikalte rahiye"
  3. #iR@


    nicely done man! :beer:
  4. knights_diwani

    knights_diwani New Member

    Nice one ...!
  5. Hardik

    Hardik .:.:.:BoRn TaLenT:.:.:. write great!!..i just love the way you play with words...awesome..:nw:
  6. astroguru26

    astroguru26 New Member

    @hardik....thanks for compliment....still a long way to learn how to play with words.........

    @ knights_diwani,#iR@...thanks

    @madhuresh....great advice from you who himself write well..

    thanks to all for going through the poetry

  7. Varshita

    Varshita New Member

    I loved the thoughts behind it :)... but not the words that you used to express them.
    Grammatical errors distracted me at many places...
    Dont be in a hurry to write a poem.

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