Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by astroguru26, Apr 19, 2006.

  1. astroguru26

    astroguru26 New Member

    limping from recent setback
    of loosing the way for having bread and butter
    but still keeping head high and walking up for few moments
    harsh reality struck me down
    with no reason to convince...

    found myself
    stucked in the situation
    where i can feel
    neither i can go forward nor i can backward,
    and still confronting my fears
    realising what next move destiny will take....
    caught up in the moral argument
    that is blinding the truth...

    wrapped up by the material considerations
    made me loose the sight of
    the various aspect of life viz blood relations,friends
    for whom i am the part of their life as well,
    standing between the whirlwind of situation
    that moved very fast
    engineered by headstrong and convincing opinion
    is this caused by destiny's mischief or malice?
    asking myself.....

    even i was on guard but now
    its difficult to cheer up the soul
    motivating it in dark times of this hour..
    and struggling to comeout of the grip of depression
    as if i am trapped in dreary routine
    yet an opportunity in store
    farsightedness is needed as it will be
    appearing in unexpected way.....

    loosing sleep over current problem
    passing through dark tunnels and going through testing times
    especially feeling deserted by loved ones.....
    waiting for light it seems over for just now ...

    Hardik likes this.
  2. shsnawada

    shsnawada Cyborgs & Pasta

    Are the grammatical errors intentional?
  3. astroguru26

    astroguru26 New Member looks like to me... themes are more needed to judged as whole..mistakes bound to be..and learning is another step
  4. shsnawada

    shsnawada Cyborgs & Pasta

    the edited version is better imo. Still too emo for me.
  5. nimisha

    nimisha .:Forum Leader:.

  6. walk_alone

    walk_alone **~~| An Atheist |~~**

    Hey , few modifications

    I have taken a liberty to modify ur poem, tell me wat i reads like now :

    dint make too many changes since then it wd lose it originality.

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