Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other. Etc.: A sign to make others believe,you know more than you actually do. Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.. Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and a woman gains her master's. Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read. Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip. Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together. Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feelingyou have never felt before. Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life. Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on. Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage .. Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power . Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody beleives he got the biggest piece Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present... Opportunists: One who starts having a bath when he/she accidently falls in a river ... Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either". College: A place where some pursue learning and others learn pursuing. Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich. Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet" Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight. Divorce: Future tense of marriage.