ok...now I couldn't think of an appropriate Title so I have just now Titled this one as "Socha Tha"....may be cos thats one of the most frequently used word : now before you proceed..... WARNING: The first person who heard this has already claimed it as crap....so read at your own risk. He asked me to make some changes but I dint...cos I love it(though it has been said "bekaar") the way it is. Socha tha..... Ek Dua thi…..Jo kabhi zubaan par aa na saki Ek Ummeed thi…..Jo kabhi in sapno ko jaga na saki Socha tha us Khuda se kuchh apne liye bhi maang le Dhoond.te rahe.....par alfaaz bhi kahin kho gaye the Aakhir jab kuchh lafzon ka sahara mila hamko Tab iss Dil se…..apne liye chand khushiyan maangne ki khudgarzi adaa ho na saki Yeh aankhein thi…..jo kabhi surkh ho na saki Ek woh neend thi.....jo in aakhoan me kabhi dikh na saki Socha tha iss jahan me thodi khushiyan ham bhi baant le Khojte rahe ki kush rehne ka zariya kya hai Badi muddat ke baad khushi mili hamko Par in laboan se akele muskurane ki khata ho na saki Wo ek yaad thi…..jo iss Dil se kabhi ja na saki Uski ek jhalak thi…..jo yeh nazrein kabhi pa na saki Socha tha unki yaado me aansu na bahaye ham Koshish karte rahe namumkin ko pane ki Jab dekha ek Dil ko apne saamne toot.te huye Toh uske gham me aansu na bahane ki gustaakhi hamse ho na saki Shukriya....
well.. i know why haven’t changed it.. cuz you like the thought with these wordings.. but i think u should change some words so that it could be in rhythm... baaki aap to queen poetess hain... and reps :grin:
^^^^Hahaha....thanks Vipin for being the onli one to post ur comment : ppl actually got tortured i guess aftr reading this one...to an extent that they cudnt find appropriate words to criticize it.....hehe
hawwwwwwww... BEKAAR kis nay bola is poem ko yaar? NAAM BATAOO I"LL GO SHOOT THAT PERSON! : itniiiiiii fit hai yaar... the BEST part is ITS SIMPLE... i mean WORDS r all simple and NOT u know HI-FI vocabulary! :
.. no need to change anything ... its good as it is .. waisay i dont believe in 'editing' heartfelt poetry ... poetry is supposed to be spontaneous .. thats how it becomes powerful .. good thing you didnt edit this one ... i love it!
nah i say u can do better ...thoda time diya kroooooo ..though i knw it dosent goes that way but try re !
Whoa,,,,Shak on a mission?? : to read my pending poems thnaks Bro @Madhuresh....ummmmm.....i'll try : though i kno i wont b able to...: @Suhas....so u also agree with the warning??:think:
