Sleep my child

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by d_ist_urb_ed, Feb 28, 2006.

  1. d_ist_urb_ed

    d_ist_urb_ed Genuflect b*tches!

    Sleep my child

    Such innocence in your face child
    Oblivious to the travail in the world
    On and on you go on with your dizzy frolic
    Whirling into a speedy vertigo

    Your sweet countenance doeth much good to me
    The beast that was me looks to don a human self
    and you aid me

    And as i gaze upon you
    hard realization comes to mind
    A day will come when this frolic will be no more
    A day will come when this sweet countenance will become,
    bitter hatred inspired by the cruelty dancing around you
    Mocking you to become one of them

    No, i will not, i cannot permit that
    In your glory shall i put you to rest
    Deep within the hearse of shielding earth
    One you shall become with whence you came from
    Yes, i shalt not slacken
    With every passing second my vision fades

    Come hither my child, let me
    look at you fully once more
    Let me let the riveting joy wash over me
    Once more, for the last time
    Before you leave on your journey to the nether

    Do not be scared of the knife little one
    It is your deliverance

    It is time for you to go child
    I feel the warmth of your blood
    Wash over my hands as i bury this heinous instrument
    Deep into your body
    Ah how fragrant it is...

    Do not scream my child, the pain,
    the misery, the sorrow is all but an illusion
    Created by the filth of this planet
    You are on your way, to eternal freedom
    To a field of euphoria

    Do not struggle against my efforts child
    It is only a little while more......
    Only a little while more.....

    Now your soul has left this world
    On it's path to the empyrean fairyland
    A shudder of sorrow passes through me
    But i let it pass
    You need not thank me child, do not worry about me
    I have delivered you
    To your promised land

    I am left with your bleeding body child,
    a lifeless carcass, so devoid of spirit
    Yet so pulchritudinous
    In keeping with my word shall i fulfil my duty
    I shall let not another human enjoy this beauty of yours
    Let me bury the knife in you once more and rip you apart
    So that your earthly attachement will soon be nothing but
    a deformed mass of flesh and blood

    The universe bears witness to this burial, child.
    As i put you in your grave
    I wonder for a moment, if you would have lived to be different
    Than what i was anxious you would become

    However the past has passed and your future is bright
    No more sin, no more pain
    Sleep my child........

    This could be prose for all i care.....this poem just taps into a twisted part of my mind......dont judge my writing skills on how i wrote this, i just want to hear what you think of the poem.
  2. madhuresh

    madhuresh madhuresh

    bacche ki jaan le li yaar......i never tell small children ur crooked, compicated things ...u know they losse their best thing "innocence".....>well thats how i think
    but nice attempt *Claps*
    Varshita likes this.
  3. d_ist_urb_ed

    d_ist_urb_ed Genuflect b*tches!

    ^Didnt make any sense, but thank you.
  4. Varshita

    Varshita New Member

    So this is the gothic one that u were reffering to eh?
    That was beautifully written and delicately handled. I guess this time u prove that you can write on just about any theme given to u.
    Glad to know that now your becoming a full fledged poet :)
    Keep on writing !!

    Ps. I didnt need a dictionary this time :)
    madhuresh likes this.
  5. vini

    vini Repeat Offender

    yeah..very much Gothic!
    i felt as if i was going through lyrics of a song of grunge or some other psychedelic genre.
    such things are really not my cup of tea and fill me with a vague feeling :)

    but anyways it was a very successful attempt to express abundant abomination (towards sumthing) held inside of/by u.
  6. d_ist_urb_ed

    d_ist_urb_ed Genuflect b*tches!

    Hah, thank you both of you :grin:
  7. Sanjay Mazumder

    Sanjay Mazumder ~..::MASTERMIND::..~

    Wow! Wonderful!

    And this time, it's a long one, Bro!
    Hope U write poems bigger than "The Highway Man" and "The Ancient Mariner". :)
  8. d_ist_urb_ed

    d_ist_urb_ed Genuflect b*tches!

    ^Thank you bro, but bigger isnt always better you know :grin:
  9. d_ist_urb_ed

    d_ist_urb_ed Genuflect b*tches!

    @vini, grunge? You insult me........
  10. #iR@


    HA! and u said u couldn't rite! :mad: lol... AMAZING MAN! very nicely done! good job! :beer:
  11. d_ist_urb_ed

    d_ist_urb_ed Genuflect b*tches!

    ^Thank you, and it amazes me that everyone keeps me calling me a good poet when this poem isnt actually that well poetically inclined, i was more fishing for comments about the theme of the poem.
  12. browneyegurlie

    browneyegurlie Sweet as Honey

    wow again, the first 2 stanzas seem sweet and innocent but then the poem enters a much sinister and dark theme. but seems to me, protray a great deal of realism painted in abstract and surreal methods, like your liberating people from the dirt (sorry if that is obvious and im just being blonde!). but a beautiful poem.....very word has soo much power and meaning, im bowled over.
  13. d_ist_urb_ed

    d_ist_urb_ed Genuflect b*tches!

    ^Thank you, your feedback means a lot to me :grin:
  14. amit82cse

    amit82cse Silent observeR

    clean bowled.....very was long but i finished it!!!:p:
  15. d_ist_urb_ed

    d_ist_urb_ed Genuflect b*tches!

    ^Thank you bro, i appreciate it.
  16. Garima

    Garima Born to rule <img src="images/smilies/rule.gif" bo

    A universal truth....

    Loved the poem...the way u hv written it...A Poet born in three days....i mean its been ur thrd poem in three consecutive day...& in evry poem u hv emerged more powerfull as a poet...& the areas or ideas u r writing on...i thnk its new...I mean most of us write on wat we go thru...but this is an exaggeration of ur imagination...which i wud try nxt time...hopefully..:) hats off to u....:nw:

    keep rocking....:rock:
  17. Subhro

    Subhro Argentina lost :&quot;(

    wow!! man.. too gud!! :rock:

    but u shudnt hav murdrd dat lil one. :NoNo:

    u r one helluva d_i_s_t_u_r_b_e_d dude :p:

    me not so lucky :dance:

    I am left with your bleeding body child,
    a lifeless carcass, so devoid of spirit
    Yet so pulchritudinous

    hihi .. :grin:
  18. d_ist_urb_ed

    d_ist_urb_ed Genuflect b*tches!

    @Garima, thank you so very much, you have no idea how much your words mean to me.....thank you
    @Surbho, well, it's HIGH time you read one of my poems and well, yeah, i am a bit screwed up........and i knew each one of you looked at the dictionary for that particular word, so boo :p:
  19. shsnawada

    shsnawada Cyborgs &amp; Pasta

    Sorry that i couldnt read this before. Assuming that i told you already about how much i like your diction and style, i seem to be the only person who can somehow or the other share this "twisted side".
    About the poem itself: Loved the more organic approach to this one.
  20. Petunia

    Petunia terminally dorky

    Kiddo, sometimes prose doesnt really matter. You shud just let it flow-often thats where the beauty of it lies.

    I love the first stanza...LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT :dance:

    Awesome Awesome poem.

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