Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by i'm_not_neo, Dec 5, 2007.

  1. i'm_not_neo

    i'm_not_neo el valor máximo absoluto

    Apart from the title,this poem is really fairly attempts at writing after quite a while..Anyway,open to comments and questions (if any).

    He walks with a drink in his hands
    A sudden smash and shattered glass.
    The breach of peace,
    the theory of chaos,
    It's a jinx,
    or maybe an omen,
    or the ugly face of vengeance,
    beneath a curtain..
    A sign,a miracle,
    destiny perhaps,
    or some pyscho's idea of booby traps..
    No,it's karma,
    Reap what you sow,
    An act of the devil down below
    Drunk maybe,
    Or he just wasn't lucky.
    It just had to be the gravity..
    or maybe clumsiness,
    Don't look at me,you made that mess!
    Oh the advanced human brain
    never takes a break,
    But amidst the urge to find a cause
    A purpose,or maybe just a theory
    It is blinded to get the irony
    of the complexity in simplicity.
  2. #iR@


    hmmm... dont know xactly wat to say... but i like the whole flow in the poem... see i mean short lines... not even lines just a couple of words which say everything... but i didnt xactly get the xact meaning of the poem... just being honest... i mean the way i took it (N I HAVE EVERY RITE TO DO DAT! =P) was like a CHAOS... just a HUGE CHAOS... something dat cudnt be corrected... something dat was just DONE for no reason but it just had created this HUGE mess... n now there was no way out... well dats wat i saw in this poem... and yes... u DO have a distinct style of riting n dats wat i like... :)
  3. i'm_not_neo

    i'm_not_neo el valor máximo absoluto do have every right to do that!Let me clarify though...the "couple of words" or those meaningless phrases are individual mind thoughts over a simple event (where the glass broke).There was no chaos as such.Just a portrayal of how one event invokes 100 thoughts instead of accepting the obvious. I guess the last 4 lines apply to you too.
    But I like your replies.You're like IGT's version of Paula Abdul..I mean the optimism :) Keep replying!!!
  4. #iR@


    Finally i get it! :) ok shutting up now... :-*
  5. CrYpTiC_angel

    CrYpTiC_angel Rebelle!

    Now here's something different!

    It made me post in the poetry forum for a change, coz I just HAD to comment on this.

    I love the idea behind the poem and u bring it forth flawlessly. Keep writing if u can : )
  6. i'm_not_neo

    i'm_not_neo el valor máximo absoluto

    Thank you!!!!I'm finally glad I could write on something different!!

    Okk,that just made me go awww...thank you :)

    :) I'm actually glad you got the idea behind the poem (the "flawlessly" part is like icing on the cake)..the narration wasn't exactly straight-forward,so I'm glad it made sense!!!!
  7. fairandlovely

    fairandlovely peeka-boo

    Clever to say the least. Isn't karma the prerogative of God and not the devil though?
  8. i'm_not_neo

    i'm_not_neo el valor máximo absoluto

    Thank you.Karma,I'd say,goes beyond God and much as I would like to pour the whole karma philosophy on you,I'd rather not and you probably have your own take on it..I'm assuming that Karma and Devil being in the same context made you ask that...I've explained the poem above.I'm sure that will clarify things better..if not,I'd be glad to explain(/cover my tracks) :)

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