Shipping jokes ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A pirate and his parrot were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a valiant battle. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, the pirate stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a Genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To his amazement, a Genie came forth. This particular Genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving any thought to the matter the pirate blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into rum!" The Genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest rum ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the Genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of rum on the hull broke the stillness as the two considered their circumstances. The parrot looked disgustedly at the pirate and after a tension-filled moment spoke: "Just great. Now we're going to have to pee in the boat." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A Sailor once entered a bar and saw a young man with multicoloured spiked hair. After staring at him for a while, the young man asked; "Why, haven't you ever done anything wild in your life?" The sailor replied; "Got drunk one night and married a parrot. Just wondering if you were my son." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- An egocentric captain was called back for questioning after the crew mutinied on his ship. The board asked; "Okay, lets hear what happened from the beginning." The captain replied; "In the beginning, I created the heavens and the earth..." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I'll post a few more later...
A large Humpback whale is lazily enjoying a beautiful day when he sees a female Humpback whale just a little ways off, and he thinks to himself that he's going to try to impress her... He swims over to her, and breeches the surface, showing off the large hump on his back. She looked unimpressed as she breached and showed a larger more well formed hump herself. Now, a little embarrassed, he tries again to impress her by taking a breath and blowing a huge cloud of mist and water with a really nice rainbow in it. Once again she looked unimpressed and she blew a larger cloud of mist, with a more beautiful rainbow. Now clearly agitated, the Male sees a Navel vessel in the distance and races off toward it. Just before he collides with the ship, he dives, jumps out of the water and as he sails over the bow of the ship, he plucks a sailor off the deck and in one gulp swallows him whole! He swam back to her very proud of himself, only to find the female object of his attentions with a disgusted look on her face... As she swam off she said..."I'll Hump, I'll Blow, BUT I WON'T SWALLOW SEAMEN!
