She Take me into your arms, you did When the darkness was closing around me A shoulder to cry upon, you did provide As the world ignored my futile murmurs desperately seeking help From atop your golden mountain you reached down Held my hand, and gave me hope A whisper from you and the clouds cleared Letting the warmth of the sun wash away the consummate numbness consuming me In your infinite wisdom, you taught me that to live was not to wait for death, but to touch one and all around us And pray for a better tomorrow, holding on to hope You sought to understand the lusterless life that was mine, but will be no more, you have touched me. To the lowly dregs of His world does the Lord send Angels, to heal the pain, to protect against harm, and to change for the better You were mine. It would be a meager gesture to say that i am eternally grateful to you For words are frivolous nothings to express what i feel And as i hear your laughter echoing in my ears, i can think of but one thing Something that causes regret and reassures at the same time Why cant you be mine......... I had some difficulty writing this one, i dont think it's upto the mark, but i beg of you to be kind and give me your honest comments. What i need to fix and what not This poem dedicated to Petunia
lovely poem dear.. glad i'm the first to read it.. you should write more poems..and on diffrnt topics.. i like pleasant ones...strangely i do .. wont categorise this one..its better i dont *hug* Love the poem..love u
^Thank you sis, i wanted you to read this first, cause of a specific reason *smiles* I love you :grin:
It's pretty much a "standard" tribute. Like you say at the end, words are seldom enough to express what people mean to us. Poems like this mean the world to the person they're for but are not great for a read. While there's nothing wrong with what you've written, there are times when I feel I might be trespassing.
@bjr, thank you, i understand. Dont worry about trespassing, i discussed it with the person, and it'd be a blooming miracle if you actually figured out who it was. Come to think of it, i dont even think you know her.... And i very much appreciate you taking the time to read through my poems, i hope to write some good ones worthy of your criticism soon...
its b-e-a-utiful...made me remember someone... "that to live was not to wait for death, but to touch one and all around us" so simlpe..yet so beautiful...keep writing bro!!keep writing...:rock:
well, well, well....do i know the person, sarat?...can i make a wild guess that her name start and with S___h....If not, forget the stupid guess... Really nice poem..i never knew that u write poems:think:
AMAZING MAN! keep riting! u r on the PERFECT track!:grin: just one thing... next time try riting shorter sentences compared to the ones u rote above... casue i think short sentences are more impactful! but thats just my advice...
@Hardik, thanks bro This theme of poems isnt exactly my area......so in my humble opinion, this poem wasnt really anything special at all. @angela, you might, you might not :grin: And yeah, i started two days ago, lol. @amit, thank you buddy. @IR, thank you, you were one of my initial inspirations you know :grin:
Hey dist....nice one dude...u rock....i like ur technique as well.....and even i wanna know who that lucky one is. "behind every successful poet is his unsuccessful love"
So u finally wrote it... Its beautiful. I like the way you have descibed the person's impact on to your life Never imagined you writing lovey dovey (as people categorize it) stuff. It has come out really well. I didnt need a dictionary .. so i m really happy about that part too !! The interrogator in me is still curious :
by the way... the ironic part... Am i the only one who noticed?? or maybe i m trying to read too much in between the lines??
^Heh, nice, you noticed, but dont look at the lines seperately, look at them in the context of the poem :grin:
