sakoon

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by monica_decosta, Jan 10, 2012.

  1. vo ajj mere shaher to aaye
    par mujh se mile nahi..
    shayad vaqt nahi tha..
    bhuut sa kaam raha hoga
    so maine..
    bache khuche vaqut ke tukade tukade kar dale
    aur faainke diye sadak pe
    kuch kaam isse bhi utha lenge kal tak
    subhe se sham tak ka to beech diya
    ye raat bhi bik jayegi.. bhuut jaldi

    kuch loogoon ki kabhi na khatam hone vaali bhookh
    khoob maze se jee le chand saal aur..
    tera maans nooch nooch ke
    khaayenge
    main aur mera sakoon..
     
  2. horsesmouth

    horsesmouth Active Member

    its really fabulous till te last two lines...somehow i found them bit mismatched to the rest of the poem's mood...
    But really powerful lines...reps, if i can..
     
  3. arniehawk

    arniehawk New Member

    absolutely powerful awsum lines
     
  4. Sumanovo razor

    Sumanovo razor New Member

    your poems written in english are superior....
     
  5. hmmm............accha ji
     
  6. fairandlovely

    fairandlovely peeka-boo

    the first verse was beautiful and the second verse was really really scary. I could picture you saying it with a dead serious soft voice and it sent a chill down my spine.
     

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