Running In Circles

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by #iR@, Jul 1, 2007.

  1. #iR@

    #iR@ GANDI BACHI RELOADED

    another of ma poems... just rote it now... like always comments r HIGHLY welcomed... :)

    --> Running In Circles

    Running around in circles
    Not knowing where to go
    I look around the world walk by
    All lost in a world of their own

    I continue running around in circles
    Not realizing what I am doing
    It seems like a waste
    But the feeling of just doing something doesn’t let me stop

    The wind that gushes on ma face
    Gives me some sort of an unknown strength
    A strength I myself cant understand
    I continue running in circles

    The world sees me as a crazy freak
    But somehow all of them respect me in a different way
    Cause I continue doing whatever I think is right
    and that makes me superior to all of them I guess

    I stumble and I fall
    During this crazy job I have undertaken
    But I just maintain my balance
    ….And continue running in circles…

    Cause I believe
    That someday I will find
    The reason for doing this...


    thx for reading...
     
    madhuresh and astroguru26 like this.
  2. madhuresh

    madhuresh madhuresh

    it was good ...actually the presentaion style ws good :)
     
  3. i'm_not_neo

    i'm_not_neo el valor máximo absoluto

    This is a brilliant write..honestly..the first reason for me to like it is that its very true..something everyone can relate to...

    Stanza 2 was it for me...that is really soooo relatable..stanza 3 well,I think you implied that for some reason you enjoy running in circles too,or maybe thats what I thought you meant..
    Stanza 4..was good but I had a bit of a prob with you being superior to every1..I mean it does imply you are unique but superior??Maybe..but honestly I'm not complaining!!!!!St. 5 was again great..you've linked reality of life (ups n downs) to you poem and they blend perfectly..

    And finally to wrap it all up you've come up with a BRILLIANT END!!!SEriously I loved the end to this one.I mean I actually did..its so...*speechless*...its like my siggy actually..which goes to show how much I can relate to this poem....
     
  4. #iR@

    #iR@ GANDI BACHI RELOADED

    @ madhuresh... thanks man... great to have to back! :) u never xactly liked ma poems pehlay... but ur comments have been actually nice on ma recent poems!:p which is a GOOD thing! hehe

    @ i'm_not_neo... jee sir... ur comments... honestly couldnt stop smiling while readin ur post... wow man... u HONESTLY made ma poem come to life... i mean i just rite it and post it WITHOUT Thinking WHY i rote it... i mean i NEVER think k this represents this... bus GENERAL thing paker ker i just rite it down... in the end it DOES make sense to me... but i NEVER think k LIKHA KYA HAI! :p wow man seriously impressed... cause the explainations u gave are XACTLY wat i had in mind... :nw:
     
  5. maxeffect

    maxeffect New Member

    i'm running

    hey, dat was i gud read, liked it, especially this one
    "Running around in circles
    Not knowing where to go
    I look around the world walk by
    All lost in a world of their own"
    This made me read the rest of the poem...

    "I stumble and I fall
    During this crazy job I have undertaken
    But I just maintain my balance
    ….And continue running in circles…

    Cause I believe
    That someday I will find
    The reason for doing this..."

    'someday i will find' was actually nice as it signify y r we (yep 'we' not 'u' as i cn relate to it) running in circles
    Although u shud hav used a word subtle than 'superior' in 4th para

    And as u said u "just rote it now" dats what is needed for such a poem, u actually cant think and write such thing [continue doing this :)]
     
  6. i'm_not_neo

    i'm_not_neo el valor máximo absoluto

    hehe..well I really enjoyed it.. you can always expect comments from me..keep it up and keep posting :)
    lol and I do hope you were kidding about the "jee sir"..:p:

    :dance:
     
  7. #iR@

    #iR@ GANDI BACHI RELOADED

    @ max... thank u... well even i a feeling that using the word SUPERIOR was rong but like i already said i dont XACTLY think before i rite or while i rite... i just scribble down watever comes to ma mind... for a second i was like superior ki jaga someother word... i thought about it but jab damagh mein kuch nahi aya tou i was like watever SUPERIOR seems fine! :p

    @ i'm_not_neo... i dont know why i rote jee sir! but i mean watever i rite:p lol.... *actually laughing*
     

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