responsibility....

for me sister
and mother ....my bundle of joy
my home seems like heaven on earth
envy place for neighbours
everything seems so beautiful
so natural.....

even dad passed away
penury i never faced....
no hard days..
each moment is like bliss
my stubborness all yielded postive result
for me...
i know my sister is there for me...
always have answer for my questions..
my neccessity to have things to be happy...
she will arrange if it involves money...


my
dearest sister.....
working overnight somewhere unknown to me...
meticulous and always smiling
like never to die spirit....
bold and very dominating attitiude..
family loving manners..praiseworthy..

i feel the responsiblity
as brother to see her married and have her family
......
one day
police knocked the door....
she was caught in racket busted
invloving flesh trade
she was kingpin......
earning for me and for my ailing mother...



rohit
astroguru26

 

:shock::shock:

 

That's some theme there.



But not very well-written I'm afraid.

 

:shock::shock:

Gosh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

u want prostitution to be legalised??????????????

 

This is what I felt you should do: Try to put more work into writing your poem rather than just thinking up a hard-hitting theme.

Your poems just put the theme across. That's it. Not really in a way that would touch me or make me think. It just simply puts it out there.

That was just my opinion, so I hope you won't get offended by it.


@ujsen... say it all in 1 post dude! If you wanna add smthng right after u posted, use the EDIT button!

 

^^^^i like multiple posts>>>

 

huh !..dont tell me i need specs!
Dont tell me i'm seeing things
But did two posts jus change or should i say interchange!!:shock:

anwys
coming to the poem
its a good theme Rohit
the language may seem very plain
but it isnt bland and u can spice it up if you Want...

 

still learning............one day i will put the theme across......
thanks for reading..........
conclusion results in thinking about offended..i hate conclusion.....
you have the right to judge..........continue it.....

 

Boohoo. Get over it.

Multiple posts (without a proper reason)= spam.

Stop it. Increasing your post count isn't that big a deal.

 

still long way to go.....to spice up.....how ever the poetries wriiten are just at random....no editing and all....so u can feel that themes are not well said and all..half cooked ......

i simply open the new thread section..and write the poetry....dont look for pen and paper to let the idea grow.......( i have been advised take the pen and paper manytimes...to make the idea more grow through imagination..time constraints...sorry..professional life)
thats why..the blueprint is always classic and raw too......


you can knw what i meant.....no rough this is blueprint and raw copy for you all..............
thanks for reading......once again
rohit
astroguru26

 

I AM NOT INCREASING MY NUMBER OF POSTS!!!!!!!!!!!

 

firstly i'm sorry for making it sound like a dish..it was unintentional:

i very well know what your saying..
its good to write impromptu and the feelings or whatever one may name it also are very fresh...
you could take more time and make it better..
not that this isnt good..
but if you put some more effort..
this classic could be a masterpiece

All the best!
God Bless!

 

https://indianguitartabs.com/showthread.php?t=14625&page=3&highlight=legalizing+prostitution




As for the poem, it hits hard but from the little know about these rackets, the kingpin is different from the way you potray her to be.

 

ya i saw that movie ....main naam bhool gaya vo juda ho ke bhi vaali ......vo saif ali ki wife to acchi khassi thi .... ye sab masty karten hain .....no one should say beer bars be banned ..bombay jaane ka maan hi nahi karta ..hahaha

 

Rohit,

I understand that you wrote what came in ur mind without bothering too much abt the vocab....though i do get what u wanna say but poem luks very ill organised...can be worked on...

 

yaar, start mein toh mein senti ho gaya lekin last lines nay waat laga di.

satyay ko satyay he rehne do, kadwa hain chupa rehne do.

i didn't liked but yeah good humours frm Ujsen >> do u mean pros sgud be legalised... i like multiple post ...hehehe LOL.


@maduresh, yaar i never went to those beer bar.. are they kool?

anyways :beer:

 

@sachooo....beta bahuut acchi jagaha hai jaroor jana humare liye photo kheech lana...pooja archana jyoti shradhaa ke saath saath shaanti free milti hai...hahahaha.....main to andheri recommend karuunga
sab teerath baar baar
ek baar bear baar.....

 

:RollLol: hehehehehe.... damn it... too good boy..... nahi yaar main yahan he accha hoon n they r closed banned now. Maloom chala ki Andheri gaya aur andar ho gaya :

weekend ko ghar par he achi hain thandi thandi chill :beer:

 

this is same attitude ...keh den ge....