Check This ONe : Laloo is going in a car with his driver and his driver accidently runs over a piglet. The pig dies on the spot. Laloo, upset, tells the chauffeur to go find the owner of the piglet so that he can pay the damages. The driver is gone for two hours and when he comes back, he has a bag full of money, and a wondering look on his fAce. Laloowants to know what happened. The driver tells him, "Hum jab gaanv me pahuncha to dekha kuchh log ped ke niche baithe hain. Jub hum unko bataya ki kya hua hai, tab sare Log jama ho gaye. Humko laga ki aaj to hamari pitayee hogee. Par hum dekha ki sare log paisa jama kar rahe hain. Hum socha ki ye sara piasa wo janvar ke malik ke liye hai. Par un logo ne saara paisa hamein de diya." Laloo says "Sasoore, Theek theek batao. Tum unko ky bola tha?" The driver replies "Hum kaha ki hum Laloo Yadav ka driver hoon aur hum sooar ka bachcha ko maar diya hoon".. :dance:
Nevr Lie to ur Mother Mom comes to visit her son Ashwin for dinner...who > lives in LA with a girl > roommate Jyoti... During the course of the meal, his > mother couldn't help > but notice how pretty Ashwin's roommate was. She > had long been suspicious > of a relationship between the two, and this had > only made her more curious > over the course of the evening, while watching the > two interact, she > started to wonder if there was more between Ashwin > and his roommate than > met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Ashwin > volunteered, "I know what > you must be thinking, but I assure you, Jyoti and I > are just roommates." > About a week later, Joti came to Ashwin saying, > "Ever since your mother > came to dinner, I've been unable to find the > beautiful silver ****ney jar. > You don't suppose she took it, do you?" "Well, I > doubt it, but I'll email > her, just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote; > Dear Mother, I'm not > saying that you 'did' take the ****ney jar from my > house, I'm not saying > that you 'did not' take the ****ney jar. but the > fact remains that it has > been missing ever since you were here for dinner. > Love, Ashwin Several days > later, Ashwin received an email from his Mother > which read: Dear Son, I'm > not saying that you 'do' sleep with Jyoti, and I'm > not saying that you 'do > not' sleep with Jyoti. But the fact remains that if > she was sleeping in her > own bed, she would have found the ****ney jar by > now. Love, Mom Lesson of the day ..... > > Don't Lie to Your Mother...
Little Johnny special Little Johnny's father said, "let me see your report card." Johnny replied, "I don't have it." "Why not?" His father asked. "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents." ~~~~~ Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic. "Why?" asks the father. "The teacher asked 'How much is 2 x 3?' I said 6. "But that's right!" "Then she asked me 'How much is 3 x 2?' "What's the fuXXing difference?" asks the father. "That's what I said!" ~~~~~ Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?" "No," said his mom, "of course not." Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, "It's okay, we can play that game again!"
more little johnny Little Johnny was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. After the sixth one a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, make you fat." Little Johnny replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old." The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?" Little Johnny answered, "No, he minded his own business!" ~~~~~ Little Mary was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Mary?" "My goldfish died," replied Mary tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him." The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" Mary patted down the last heap of earth then replied, "That's because he's inside your cat."
Mithun the great here's something mind-boggling.... Mithun's girlfriend is all tied up in an electric chair. the remote is in the hands of the villian who is thousands of miles away. mithun bashes the villian but the villian finally gets hold of the remote and pulls the electric switch. MY MY. you want to know what happens next??? As the electricity passes through the wire mithun jumps on a horse and follows it. then there is a race between mithun and electricity. finally after a long race mithun comes and rescues his beloved just in the nick of time as electricity passes through an empty chair..........
hahahahahaha...too good man... There was a debate to choose who was the ancient idiot. After a lot a brain storming sessions ,finally Dusshasana was chosen as the ancient idiot. Becoz he kept on pulling and pulling the saree of Draupadi,instead of lifting it!!!.............
Santa enters a store that sell curtains. He tells the salesman, "I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains." The salesman assured him that they had a large selection of pink curtains. He showed him several patterns, but Santa seemed to be having a hard time choosing. Finally, he selects a lovely pink floral print. The salesman asked what size curtains he needed. Santa replies, "Fifteen inches." "Fifteen inches?" asked the salesman. "That sounds very small, what room are they for?" Santa tells him that they aren't for a room, they are for his computer monitor. The surprised salesman replies, "But, sir, computers do not have curtains!" Santa says, "Hellllooooooooo........I've got Windows!"
lol....heres another one... Letter to Mr.Bill Gates from Banta singh ... Dear Mr Bill Gates, This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought a computer for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your notice. After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but we face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard. Because of this we open the e-mail account with password *****. I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password is. We are unable to enter anything after we click the shut down button. There is a button 'start' but there is no stop button. We request you to check this. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friend clicked 'run' has ran upto Amritsar! So, we request you to change that to sit so that we can click that by sitting. One doubt is that any 're-scooter' available in system? As I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home. Also there is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with this 'find', but unable to trace. Is it a bug??
*********** A man to shopkeeper: Ek white colour ka condom dena... Shopkeeper:white hi kyun?? Manadosan ka pati mar gaya hai...afsos karne jaana hai... *********** Man:Sardarji where were u born? SardarjiUNJAB Man:which part? Sardarye part part kya kar raha hai...whole body born in punjab *********** Beta to sardarapa aaj me bus k piche dod k ghar aaya,jisse mene 3Rs bachaye... Sardar: oye kar di na sardaro wali gal.... auto ke piche aata to 30Rs bachata... *********** Sardar was asked: exam kaisa raha? Sardar:ek question mushkil tha...what is the past tense of think?....i thought.... i thought... and i thought....and then finally i wrote thunk.... *********** Sardar1 giggling behind Sardar2 at atm centre:ha ha i have seen your password Sardar2:what is it Sardar1:its four asterix(****) Sardar2:haha u are wrong its 1245 *********** Once a sardar calls another sardar and says "Hi,main bol raha hoon". The other sardar replies "kamaal hai idhar bhi main bol raha hoon" *********** Banta Singh was sittin on a hill and studying. A passerby asked him" what are you doin" He replied "higher studies" *********** An astronomer was watchin in the sky from his telescope. A sardar was observing him. Suddenly a star falls. Sardar shouts:kya nishana lagaya!!!! *********** Teacher to Sardar: Explain responsibility? Sardar: Madam your blouse has 4 buttons... if 3 break down the entire responsibility will be on the fourth one... *********** A two seater plane crashed in a graveyard in punjab today... Local sardars have so far found 50 bodies and are still digging *********** An ass, behind another ass,behind that I and behind me the whole NATION...Sardar teaching his child the spelling of ASSASSINATION!!!!!! *********** ek bar ek sardar khali kadai mein chamach chala raha tha.Dost ne pucha "kya bana rahe ho?" sardar bola "****iya bana raha hoon" ***********
Bathroom Grafitti.....this is gonna be disgusting.. Graffiti 1 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Here I lie in stinky vapor, Because some bastard stole the toilet paper, Shall I lie, or shall I linger, Or shall I be forced to use my finger. Before he graduated to be a poet, he wrote this... Washroom Graffiti 2 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Here I sit Broken hearted Tried to **** But only farted Some one who had a different experience wrote Washroom Graffiti 3 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ You're lucky You had your chance I tried to fart, And **** my pants! Perhaps it is true that people get inspiration in toilets Washroom Graffiti 4 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I came here To **** and stink, But all I do Is sit and think. There are also people who come in for a different purpose Washroom Graffiti 5 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Some come here to sit and think, Some come here to **** and stink, But I come here to scratch my balls, And read the bull**** on the walls... Toilets walls are also job advertisement places....... Washroom Graffiti 6 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (written high upon the wall) If you can piss above this line, the Singapore Fire Department wants you. Ministry of environment advertisement Washroom Graffiti 7 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ We aim to please! You aim too! Please! Washroom Graffiti 8 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Seen above a urinal: Please do not throw cigarette butts in our urinal. We don't piss in your ashtrays! Washroom Graffiti 9 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ On the inside of a toilet door: Patrons are requested to remain seated throughout the entire performance. Washroom Graffiti 10 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A sign at a swimming pool bathroom: We don't swim in your toilet, so please don't pee in our pool Washroom Graffiti 11 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Another sign seen at a swimming pool: Welcome to our ool. Notice there's no P in it. Please keep it that way. Washroom Graffiti 12 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sign seen at a restaurant: The hands that clean these toilets also make your food...please aim properly. Washroom graffiti 13 -------------------------------------------- "Look down, ur future's in ur hands" Washroom graffiti 14 -------------------------------------------- "Shake well after use".
Babbar Sher special dil do kisi ek ko, woh bhi kisi nek ko... par jab tak sachaa dilbar naa mile, "propose karte raho har ek ko" Main uski yaad mein ban gaya baraf ka gola... Main uski yaad mein ban gaya baraf ka gola... aur wo boli ki Thanda matlab Coca Cola; Unki gali ke chakkar lagate Unki gali ke chakkar lagate kutte bhi hamare yaar ho gaye.. vo to hamare ho na sake, hum kutto ke sardaar ho gaye ! pani anay ki baat kartay ho dil jalanay ki baat kartay ho... char din se mu nahi dhoya tum nahanay ki baat kartay ho Shadi karni thi , kismat khuli nahi, Tajmahal banwana tha, mumtaz mili nahin. Ek din Mumtaz Mili,shadi hui, Ab Tajmahal banwana hai par Mumtaz marti nahin
A man sat at the bar totally dejected. The bartender served him his second drink and said, 'What's wrong pal?' 'I'll never understand women.' he said. 'The other night my wife threw me a birthday party. She told me that later on, as her gift to me, I could do with her whatever I wanted.' 'Wow!' said the bartender. 'But why so unhappy? That sounds like quite a gift to me.' 'Well, ' the man went on, 'I thought about it and sent her home to her Mother. Now she won't even speak to me.'
