this time 1 sher... arz kiya hai Vo bhi kya din the wah wah wah Vo bhi kya din the jab ladkiyan hamain diwani hokar kiss kiya karti thi wah wah wah Vo bhi kya din the jab ladkiyan hamain diwani hokar kiss kiya karti thi wah wah wah Par hai re hamari phuti kismat Par hai re hamari phuti kismat kii uss waqt hum 2 saal ke hua karte the wah wah wah wah wah
u rock cypher bro...u overshadowed my sardar jokes but no problemo coz ur jokes rock!!! thanx bigy for the compliment man
Blind Date: Banta sets up Santa to go on a blind date with a friend of his. But Santa is a little worried about going out with someone he's never seen before. "What do I do if she's ugly?" says Santa, "I'll be stuck with her all night. "Don't worry," Banta says, "just go up to her door and meet her first. If you like what you see, then everything goes as planned. If you don't just shout 'Aaaaaaaaauuuuuuuggghhh!' and fake an asthma attack. "So that night, Santa knocks at the girl's door and when she comes out he is awe-struck at how beautiful and ***y she is. He's about to speak when the girl suddenly shouts: ..."Aaaaaaaaaaauuugguuughhh!" Sardarji Joke Once, a Hindu, a Sardar and an American were travelling in an aeroplane. Suddenly, something went wrong and the engines stalled. They had no para****es with them. So all the three of them decided to risk their lives and jump out of their planes. First, the Sardar jumped out. He removed his turban, used it as a para****e and jumped. Using the turban he slowly floated down. Then the Hindu removed his dhoti and jumped out. Again his dhoti acted as a para****e and he also floated down gently. Seeing this, the American removed his shirt and pant and jumped out. Unfortunately, they did not do well as a para****e and he began to fall rapidly from the plane to the ground. He passed by the Hindu who said - " May Bhagwan help you". Then he passed the Sardar. The Sardar looked at the American zooming past him and was puzzled. So he said - "I see! You want a race! Let us see who is faster" Saying so, he let go of his turban. Race to the Sun: Two Sardarjis, both student of I.I.T, Kanpur, were talking about the American Astronauts. One said to the other, "What's the big deal about going to the moon-anybody can go to the moon. We are sardars we will go direct to the sun." "But if we get within 13 million miles from the sun, we'll melt." And the first answered, "So what, we'll go at night." Supernatural: There was this case in the hospital's Intensive care ward where patients always died in the same bed and on Sunday morning at 11a.m., regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths took place at 11 AM. So a worldwide expert team was constituted and they decided to go down to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents. So on the next Sunday morning few minutes before 11 a.m., all doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books, and other holy objects to ward off evil........ Just when the clock struck 11... Santa Singh, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system & plugged in the vacuum cleaner. Pilots: Raj and Saj, now pilots are trying to land an airplane at Heathrow Airport. They start descending and as they touch the ground Saj screams ‘Oye Raj, the runway is ending...". Raj swiftly gets the plane back up in the air... They make a big turn and start descending again. The moment they touch the ground, Saj screams again "Get the plane up, the runaway is ending...". Raj swiftly gets the plane back up in the air... They make a big turn and start descending again... This goes on again and again... During their fourth descent Raj says : "Look at those stupid Brits, they build this huge & expensive airport but with such a short runaway..", "I know" answers Saj, "But look how wide they made it...." Ringing Phone: Raj and his wife were just settling in to bed one night when the phone rang. Raj got out of bed and went into the living room to answer the phone. His wife could hear him say, "Hello?" Then he said, "Sure is." He hung up the receiver and went back to bed. A minute later the phone rang again. Raj got out of bed and went into the other room and his wife could hear him say, "Hello?" again and then he said, "Sure is." again. He hung up the receiver and went back to bed. The wife asked who it was. Raj said he didn‘t know. A minute later the phone rang again. Raj got out of bed and went into the other room and his wife could hear him say, "Hello?" Then he said, "Sure is." He hung up the receiver and went back to bed. The wife asked again about the caller. Raj said he didn‘t know who it was. The wife then asked, "Well, what did the person say? He said, "It‘s odd, a woman just keeps saying: "Long distance from Calcutta..." Careful Driver: As Raj was driving down the motorway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife‘s voice urgently warning him, "Buta-jee, I just heard on the news that there‘s a car going the wrong way on the motorway you are on. Please be careful!" "It‘s not just one car," said Buta Singh. "It‘s hundreds of them!"
lol...good one evil...chk this out.. old one but really good.... Why we Men Are Just Happier People - Our last name stays put. The world is Our urinal. Chocolate is just another snack. We can never be pregnant. We can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. We can wear NO T-shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell us the truth. We don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. People never stare at Our chest when We're talking to them.. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle Our feet. One mood -- all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. We can open all Our own jars. We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite us, he or she can still be Our friend. Our underwear is Rs.99 for three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. We almost never have strap problems in public. We are unable to see wrinkles in Our clothes. Everything on Our face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. We only have to shave Our face and neck. We can play with toys all Our life. Our belly usually hides Our big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. We can wear shorts no matter how Our legs look. We can "do" Our nails with a pocketknife. We have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. We can do festive shopping for 25 relatives in 25 minutes.
mails man...mails...i got loads...chk this one A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Dad" With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands: "Dear Dad, It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice-even with all her piercing, tattoos, and her tight Motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion dad, she's pregnant and Joan said that we will be very happy. Even though you don't care for her as she is so much older than I, she already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. She wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Joan taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with her friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!! Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren. Your son, John PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home."
another one.... After years of frustration, the Smiths had no children and decided to use a >proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to >arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be >here >soon". > >Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang >the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. > >"Good morning madam. You don't know me, but I've come to..." > >"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in. > >"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a specialty of >babies." > >"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat. >Just where do we start?" asked Mrs. Smith, blushing. > >"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch >and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun >too; >you can really spread out." > >"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me." > >"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try >several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure >you'll be pleased with the results." > >"I hope we can get this over with quickly," gasped Mrs. Smith. > >"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and >out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure." > >"Don't I know it!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed. > >The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his >baby >pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London." > >"Oh my god!!", Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief. > >"And these twins turned out exceptionally well when you consider their >mother was so difficult to work with." The photographer handed Mrs. Smith >the picture. > >"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith. > >"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job >done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get >a >good look." > >"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement. > >"Yes", the photographer said. "And for more than three hours, too. The >mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate. >Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the >squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in." > >Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed on your, >eh...equipment?" > >"That's right. Well madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that >we >can get to work." > >"Tripod??" Mrs. Smith looked extremely worried now. > >"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for >me to hold while I'm getting ready for action." > >......Mrs. Smith fainted!!
Hey Cypher, I dont know if there's something more than those points and reps that I can give you. Too good man. Some more please. -Your Big Fan.
now from me...... Soft(ware) hubby! ****************** Conversation between husband and wife: The husband is a computer freak! Husband: Evening dear, I'm now logged in! Wife : Have you brought the ring? Husband : Bad Command or file name. Wife : But I had told you in the morning...... Husband : Erroneous syntax. Abort? Wife : What about my diwali saree? Husband : Variable not found... Wife : Do you love me or do you only love computers or are you just being funny? Husband : Too many parameters. Wife : It was a grave mistake that I married an idiot like you. Husband : A true case of data type mismatch. Wife : You are a useless nut. Husband : It's by DEFAULT. Wife : What about your salary? Husband : File in use. Wife : Who was in the car this morning? Husband : System is unstable press CTRL ALT DEL to reboot.
A Mail from a frustrated victim of chain mails. I wanted to thank all my friends and family who have forwarded chain letters to me in 2003 & 2004. Because of your kindness: * I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for removing toilet stains. * I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS. * I smell like a wet dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer. * I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes I even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me. * I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they may ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell with calls to Uganda, Singapore and Tokyo. * I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will get sick from the rat feces and urine. * When I go to parties, I don't look at any girl, no matter how hot she is, for fear that she will take me to a hotel, drug me then take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice. * I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times. (Funny that girl, she's been 7 since 1993...) * I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I made expecting the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I participated in their special e-mail program would arrive soon. * My free Nokia phone never arrived and neither did the free passes for a paid vacation to Disneyland. * Still open to help some from Bulgaria who wants to use my account to transfer his uncle property of some hundred millions $. * Made some Hundred wishes before forwarding those Ganesh Vandana ,Tirupathi Balaji pics etc.. now most of those 'Wishes' are already married (to someone else) IMPORTANT NOTE: If you do not send this e-mail to at least 1246 people in the next 10 seconds, a bird will ... on your head today at 6:30pm.
hot jokes ******************** Once there were two twins, Joe and John. Joe was the owner of a dilapidated old boat. It so happened that John's wife died the same day that Joe's boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Joe and mistook him for John. She said, 'I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible.' Joe thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, 'Hell no in fact is I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water, she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle.' The old lady fainted.
lol 6 string....too good man....keep on posting...heres one more.....dunno if its real but really funny These are actual ads on a matrimony site. Grammar and spell errors have no place in a profile description as everything is straight from the heart! Disclaimer : I am not responsible if you forget your basic grammar after reading this mail... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ - Hello To Viewvers My Name is Sowmya , I am single i dont have male, If any one whant to marrie to me u can visite to my home. I am not a good education but i working all field in bangalroe.. if u like me u welcome to my heart... when ever u whant to meet pls viset my resident or send u letter.. Thanks yours Regards Sowmya ~*~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ i want very simple boy. from brahmin educated family from orissa state she is also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA BHAGABATA, and other homework (Homework?) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Wants a man who knows me better and can adjust with me forever. he may never create any difficulties in my life or his life by which the entire life can run smoothly. thank you (The principle of running life smoothly was never so easy!) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ he should be good looking and should have a service. he Shoulsd have one brother and one sister. he should be educated. (ain't it unique !! 1 brother 1 sister criteria !) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person. Enjoys every moments of life. I love to make friendship. Becauese friendship is a first step of love. I am looking for my dreamboy who will love me more than i. Because i love myself a lot. If u think that is u then why to late come on ........ hold my hand forever !!! (The dilwale dulhaniya effect) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ i am simple girl.I have lot ofproblemin mylife because ofmylucknow i amlooking oneboyhe caremeandloveme lot lot lot (I don't know why but this is one of my favorites) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ My husband should be as 'Shiva' as in Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki and as Tanwerr as in KSBKBT...... (Ok I haven't seen these soaps but I am sure she must be demanding too much, ain't he?) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ i want a boy with no drinks if he wants he can wear jeans in house but while steping out of house he should give recpect to our cast (by not wearing his jeans? Wat the hell...) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ HYE I AM A GOOD LOKING GIRL,WHO HAS THE CAPABILITY TO MAKE ANY BODY TO LOUGH.I BELIEVE IN GOD AND ACCORDING TO ME FRIENDS ARE THE REAL MESSENGER OF GOD. THE 3 THINGS I AM LOOKING FROM A BOY ,THEY ARE 1.THEY MUST BELIEVE IN GOD.2. THEY HAVE TO LIKE MY PROFFESION AND THEY SHOULD NOT GET BORED WITH ME WHEN I WILL TRY TO MAKE THEM LOUGH. (all of us are loughing{laughing}) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ whatever he may be but he should feel that he is going to be someone groom and he must think of the future life if he is toolike this he would bde called the man of the lamp (I am clueless, I feel so lost. Can anyone tell me what this girl wants) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ i love my patner i marriage the patner ok i search my patner and i love the patner ok thik hai the patner has a graduate ok (I am again clueless but I liked the use of "ok". The person is suffering from "Ok-syndrome") ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ HI IAM VERY COOL NUATHER OK MY HOBBY IS SEE T.V AND NEWS OK I HAVE 1 CAR AND 1 BONWL OK MY MOTHER ALSO GOOD OK MY FARUET WORLD IS OK (the "ok syndrome" again) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ iam pranati my family histoy my two brother two sister and fater&mother sister complity marred (somebody please explain in comments section how to get married 'completely'?) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ iam very simpel and hanest. i have three sister one brother and parent. i am doing postal sarvice and tailor master my original resdence at kalahandi diste naw iam staing at rayagada dist. (actually what is this girl doing? Postal service or tailor.??) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ my name is farhanbegum and i am unmarried. pleaes you marrige me pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes (height of desperation! J ) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Iwant one boy who love me or my mother. he love me heartly or he havea frank he's skin colour 'normal'not a black or not a whitey. IThink the main think is heart if your heart is beautiful then you are beautiful. but iam not a handsome girl or not a good looking. but my Mom say that Iam a good girl. My father already expired . iam ''AEKLAUTA''. THE CHOICE IS YOUR. bye bye. (uttama purishinin) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ iam kanandevi. i do owo businas.one sistar.he was marred. (No comments) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I AM LITTLE FAIR INDIAN COLOUR. I DON'T HAVE ANY HABIT. (maybe the poor guy meant BAD habits) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ hello i am a good charactarised woman. i want to run my life happily.i divorced my first husband.his charactor is not good'. i expect the good minded and clean habits boy who may be in the same caste or other caste accepted ... (but credit cards not accepted..???) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ my colour is black,but my heart is white.i like social service (Zebra..???) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ i'm looking out for who lives in bombay, boy simple who trust me lot should be roman catholic, LOVE ME ONLY. (Now that criterion is a must, isn't it?) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ to be married on jan-2005. working man perferable (this girl has fixed the marriage date too! But she is yet to find a bridegroom. I wish her best of luck on behalf of all of us. I am sure she will get one soon.) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ i would like a beautyfull boy. and i do not want his any treasure. because boy is the maharaja. (Now he is going to be a lucky boy! Any takers?) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ssc failed three times and worked with privated ltd company which not paying salary at present. (Any takers again?)
Provably the best so far.... 100 year old.. ************** Grandpa was celebrating his 100th birthday, and everyone was complimenting him on how well he looked. 'I'll tell you the secret,'he said.'My wife and I were married seventy-five years ago. On our wedding night we made a pledge that whenever we had a fight, the one who was proved wrong would go out and take a walk. I have been in the open air continuously for the past seventy-five years.'
hahaha....wives joke rule all the time...heres another one.. Q: Why did Raggedy Ann get thrown out of the toy box? A: She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face, and moaning, "Lie to me!"
this is becomin dead....heres another one..... WOMAN comes home from the hypnotist and tells her husband: Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well,they're gone. "No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?" His wife replies: "Margie referred me to a hypnotist He told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat 'I do not have a headache, I do not have a headache."I do not have a headache.' It worked! The headaches are all gone." The husband replies: "Well, that is wonderful." His wife then says: "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don't you go see the hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?" The husband agrees to try it Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom. He puts her on the bed and says: "Don't move. I'll be right back." He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before. His wife says: "Boy that was wonderful!" The husband says: "Don't move! I will be right back." He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than the first time.The wife sits up and her head is spinning. Her husband again says: "Don't move, I'll be right back." With that, he goes back in the bathroom. This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror saying: "She's not my wife. She's not my wife. She's not my wife
