: : : : : A School Master from a remote rural area in Bihar(India) was transferred to a new School in Mumbai. He reported for duty two days after actual date of joining. Consequently He was asked for explanation in writing . . . Here he goes... Deer sur, "This is my first vijit to Bombai. If small small mijtakes get inside my letter, I ask pardon. Stickly speaking, I wanted to joint your ijcool more fastly, but for the following reajon, too much time lost in getting slipper rejervation in three-tyre compartment. The clerk rejected to give ticket to I and my sun. I put complaint on station master. He said I to go to lady clerk. At first she also rejected. I then pressed her for long time and at last with great difficulty she gave a birth only to my sun. Anyway I thanked the station master because he was rejponjible for getting birth of my sun. I hope u will see my whole story and late me first time I am now ending this fastly. May God blast you!" Thank you :dance:
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha where did u get it,plz give the link if any..i want more like this.
The link is me itself... : if you need more..just demand...i will give.. :dance: anywyzz here's another... Me too!! ******** A true story from the Japanese Embassy in US: Prime Minister Mori was given some basic English conversation training before he visits Washington and meets with President Bill Clinton. The instructor told Mori ' Prime Minister, when you shake hands with President Clinton, please say 'how are you.' Then Mr Clinton should say 'I am fine, and you ?' Now you should say 'me too.' Afterwards we translators will do all the work for you.' It looks quite simple, but the truth is ... When Mori met Clinton, he mistakenly said 'Who Are You?' Mr Clinton was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humor : 'Well, I am Hilary's husband, ha ha...' Then Mori replied confidently 'Me too, Then there was a long silent moment in the meeting room. :rule: :rule: :rule:
no..my dear friend.... : these are computer jokes...they just move around.... :chase: from one pc to another..but i got a big collection of them... here's another..its based on lessons of management.....enjoy :dance: Management Lessons..... ************************* A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?' The crow answered: 'Sure, why not.' So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up. Lesson Number Two A turkey was chatting with a bull. 'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy. 'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. 'They're packed with nutrients.' The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree. Management Lesson: Bull**** might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there. Lesson Number Three When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, 'I should be Boss because I control the whole body's responses and functions. 'The feet said, 'We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go.' The hands said, 'We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money.' And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the ******* spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the ******* being the Boss. So the ******* went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered. Eventually they all decided that the ******* should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the ****! Management Lesson: You don't need brains to be a Boss - any ******* will do. Lesson Number Four A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung and promptly dug him out and ate him! Management Lessons: 1) Not everyone who drops **** on you is your enemy. 2) Not everyone who gets you out of **** is your friend. 3) And when you're in deep ****, keep your mouth shut! :rule: :rule: :rule:
jhon ...........u alrady posted some good jokes in non-veg jokes thread :dance: ...........also the 1st one : ........................ https://indianguitartabs.com/showthread.php?t=8199&page=2&pp=15&highlight=post+veg+jokes
Newton sees Mithunda and Rajnikanth films! Newton sees Mithunda and Rajnikanth films! Recently the father of physics made a visit to earth to watch a movie. He watched a few Indian movies and had his head spinning. He was convinced that all his logics and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologised for everything he had done. In the movie of Mithun Chakravarthy Newton dada was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid. Here are a few scenes: 1) Mithunda has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can't be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Mithunda is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured. Long Live Mithunda 2) In one of the movies, Mithunda is confronted with 2 gangsters. Mithunda has a Gun but unfortunately only one bullet. Guess, what he does....... He holds a knife in his hand and shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces and kills both the gangsters. Then, Mithunda utters the following dialogue "Apun ka naam hai HIRA, Apun ne sabko Chiraa". 3) Mithunda is chased by a gangster. Mithunda has a revolvver but he got no bullets in it. Guess, what he does. Nah not even in your remotest imaginations. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Mithunda opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang... And the gangster dies.... 4) The heroine is tied to an electric chair and the remote is in the hands of the villain about 100 km away. As usual, the villain confronts the hero saying "Hathiyar phek do warna main yeh remote ka button dabake tumhari mehbooba ko mar doonga". The usual fight occurs and just as the hero makes the final blow, the villain dies but not before he presses than damn button. Now what to do? Sure enough, there is a horse and the hero jumps on it. Now there is a race: The current in the cable connected to the electric chair is moving fast but our hero and his horse are desparately trying tocatch up.... goes on for a few km and just as the current would hit the chair, the hero jumps from the horse and picks the girl away from the chain and husssshhhh. She is saved. The poor electric current only goes to an empty chair. Climax, taaalian. Hero! Hero!! Hero!!! This was too much for our Newton to take and he was completely pissed off and he decided to go back. But he happened to see a Rajnikanth movie for one last time and thought that atleast one movie will follow his theory of physics. The whole movies goes fine and newton is happy that all in the world hasnt changed. Oops not so fast. The climax finally arrives.Rajni gets to know that the villian is on the the other side of a very high wall. So high that Rajni can't jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use. Rajni has to desparalety kill the villian because its the climax Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible).. Rajni suddenly pulls two guns from his pocket (Probably a backup). He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached the height of the wall ,he shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air, with his second gun. Now the first gun fires off and the villian is dead. Newton faints !!! :shock:
haila...tu to ekdum double battery hain mamu..boley to....ekdum atrangi....apun tere se bahut khush hain...tune apun ko khusi diya..haasayaa...javed bhai,,zaheer bhi bahut khush hain.....
another one of mithunda A street goon is caught in the police station. but he is very tough no one get the address of the villian out of his mouth. now mithunda enters, looks at the goon then walks away. then he points one finger to the wall and bangs his finger into the wall. what next!!! there is a hole in the wall. he puts his police stick into the wall and hangs his hat on it!!! the goon seeing the superhuman abilities of mithunda is frightened out of his senses and pleads for mercy at mithun's feet.
