R U Sure?

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by #iR@, Jan 21, 2006.

  1. #iR@

    #iR@ GANDI BACHI RELOADED

    here's anotehr one... rote 2 poems today but somehow i don't think this one turned out to be good but just posting it cause i am always happy wen a get a response from u guys and i would like the otehrs to decide how it is rather than myself! hehe.... so here goes......

     R U SURE?



    R u sure… U wanna hold my hand?
    Even when between these ups and downs I stand?

    R u sure…U can be with me
    For the rest of my life?
    Hold me every time I am about to fall?

    R u sure…U can accept me
    Even when I have been rejected?

    R u sure… I can hold ur hand tight?
    U can take me on this venture along with u?

    And never let u go
    Cause this is the turning point of my life
    Where the light wins over the darkness
    The evil finally accepts it’s lost
    And we all move on…

    thanks a lot for reading! :) don't forget to comment
     
    nimisha likes this.
  2. abhimanjrekar

    abhimanjrekar ----> Zhol-Man<----

    good one....btw whts ur age.....make me sure..... :p: :p: :p: :p:
     
  3. Varshita

    Varshita New Member

    hmm... good work.. !!
     
  4. apurbajd

    apurbajd ~#$&*$@*^$

    ^ sorry dear! m not sure ..... will tell u after I made up my mind ......;-)
     
  5. nimisha

    nimisha .:Forum Leader:.

    i can understand the thought behind it... u need to develop the poem more..!
     
  6. vishwa_81us

    vishwa_81us Banned

    Nice poem sis..


    on the humour side.. it seems like Amitabh Bachchan is asking the contestant sitting on the hot sit.. R u sure ?? Lock kar dun.. ?? in KBC..


    no offences plzz. good work.. :beer:
     
  7. #iR@

    #iR@ GANDI BACHI RELOADED

    @ abhi ... thanks man! dudeeee.... i am 15!!! :p:

    @ knight_ki_gf ..... thanks :)

    @ apurbajd... lol.. i don't think i want U to make up ur mind! hehe just kidding... thanks for reading though

    @ nimisha... thanks for the advice gurl! comments r always welcomed! :)

    @ vishwa ... thanks bro... btw if u really think about it, it actually seems like that! lol .... LOCK KER DIYA JAYE?! lol
     
  8. CrYpTiC_angel

    CrYpTiC_angel Rebelle!

    i like the idea of the poem.. the execution could've been better (m sayin this, knowing ur poetic capability :))
     
  9. #iR@

    #iR@ GANDI BACHI RELOADED

    ^ thanks gurl! :)
     
  10. rizaaj

    rizaaj Forum Leader

    no no im not sure... kiddin...

    seriously.. i did not like this one from u.. dunno why... but dint like...
     
  11. d_ist_urb_ed

    d_ist_urb_ed Genuflect b*tches!

    For heaven's sake if you're writing poetry, use correct english, spelling and grammar, it'll increase your poem's credibility by a thousand times. Otherwise, it was a nice little poem, i can see raw talent.
     
  12. vishwa_81us

    vishwa_81us Banned


    Dear Disturebed... i have never seen u writing any poem here in IGT.. before commenting on others it wud be appreciated if u write some stuffs and show us ur capabilities.. u know onething empty vessels sound much... thats all i hv to say..
     
  13. #iR@

    #iR@ GANDI BACHI RELOADED

    @ rizaaj...... well....thanks a lot man for being honest... thanks for reading and commenting on it! :) realllllllyyyyyyyy appreciate it!

    @ disturbed.... thanks for the advice... i'll try keeping it in mind and thanks for reading

    @ vishwa.... thanks! ;)
     
  14. shak

    shak Harrr!

    aaah i think it is sweeet . forget the grammar forget the mistakes .. i think it delivers the idea very well .. i dont care how balanced it is ..

    keep it up hira ... and polish your poems ... try to give them a little more time to develop .. good luck ... and keep them coming .. i really enjoy reading you
     
  15. #iR@

    #iR@ GANDI BACHI RELOADED

    ^ thanks man! :)
     

Share This Page