Pyaas : my 2nd attempt in erotic poetry

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by vishwa_81us, Dec 27, 2005.

  1. vishwa_81us

    vishwa_81us Banned

    Dear All,

    This is my second attempt in erotic poetry after "U turn me on " in english.. but this time in hindi.. lets see how far i get successful.. plzz comment.. ur comments are my inspirations..


    naha ke jab tu bahar aati hai..
    meri nigahen tere baalon mein kho jaati hai..
    in bheege baalon se pani ke boondon ka tapakna..
    maano chui mui ke patton ka aapas mein simatna..


    bheege honton ki muskurati laali baar baar kuch kehti hai..
    bulati hai mujhe paas tere aur kehti hai aa chum le mujhe..
    tarasta hai dil unhe chu jaane ko pyar ke pyale ko bas pi jane ko..
    hum khade yun hi dekhte hain dil karta hai baas lipat jaane ko..


    naagin se bhi lacheeli teri kamar..
    uspar zaalim ye kaamseen umar..
    pani ki tapakti us boond ko dekhta hun..
    are mujhse to woh khush naseeb hai...
    jo tujhe c.hute huye kahan kahan jaati hai..


    sangmarmar se bhi sundar ye tera badan
    pani se bheega woh tere tan..
    bheege kapdon ka tere jism se yun chipkna
    tere husn ki khoobsoorati ka aur ubharana..
    Kehti hai baar baar mujhe aaj...
    Aaa sanam mita dein aaj har PYAAS....


    I hope u like it...

    please excuse me because i m not comfortable with Urdu...


    plzzzz plzzzz REPLY...



    Vishwa :cool:
     
  2. UjSen

    UjSen *#!EVIL*!!

    its not very erotic
    its kinda funny.
     
  3. vishwa_81us

    vishwa_81us Banned

    Only one reply ... out of so many views :eek::

    don't think was that bad :eek::
     
  4. anshphenomenon

    anshphenomenon Rape me :boff:

    typical vishwa..!!!!
     
  5. Garima

    Garima Born to rule <img src="images/smilies/rule.gif" bo

    LOL...nice try
     
  6. .:SpY_GaMe:.

    .:SpY_GaMe:. New Member

    hahahhahaa


    hey yep its not erotic hhahahaha

    but nice lol ;-)

    u really deserve the award for the funniest member
     
  7. Hardik

    Hardik .:.:.:BoRn TaLenT:.:.:.

    nice try .....not erotic though
     
  8. vishwa_81us

    vishwa_81us Banned

    ^^^ wen i look at ur avatar i feel guilty that i made a small baby talk about erotica... :eek::
     
  9. Hardik

    Hardik .:.:.:BoRn TaLenT:.:.:.

    ^^:RollLol:....that 's a baby all right...but he sees all thru his blinking eyes...:grin:
     
  10. .:SpY_GaMe:.

    .:SpY_GaMe:. New Member

    @ vishwas lol


    hahhaa

    a kid with a not so kiddy mind lol


    really cute avatar :)
     
  11. lan12

    lan12 New Member

    very hilarious...

    These lines were quite erotic ----
    "are mujhse to woh khush naseeb hai...
    jo tujhe c.hute huye kahan kahan jaati hai.. "
     
  12. dennis

    dennis The Bhangra King

    hehehehe...amazing. as i was saying, all off ur threads should be published
     
  13. .:SpY_GaMe:.

    .:SpY_GaMe:. New Member

    :shock: :shock: :ar: do u want to defile the youths minds??? :RollLol: :RollLol: :yawn: sorry :eek:fftopic:
     
  14. shantanukr

    shantanukr yEh DiL mAanGe m0rE

    ;) Aaa sanam mita dein aaj har PYAAS....

    Very nice Try .. Vishwa
     
  15. vishwa_81us

    vishwa_81us Banned

    ^^^^ Thank uuuu alllllllll :beer:
     

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