priority...

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by astroguru26, Feb 21, 2006.

  1. astroguru26

    astroguru26 New Member

    hi..



    with long distance
    our intensity grew more deeper
    the distance makes our heart more fond of each other,

    we were getting matured how to handle the love,
    in times of test and patience
    we were inseparable even we are long miles away

    we were just one soul when we left each other
    .....just one...

    with distance
    sorting the priorites were important

    even we acknowledge our deepest admiration to sincerity
    we are never like before
    we were loosing each other
    with time and distance.....
    neither we admit that nor we said that...


    you married
    to someone you loved when i went
    distance killed your faith towards me...
    i lost you for the sake of more money....

    any comments..



    rohit
    astroguru26
     
  2. astroguru26

    astroguru26 New Member

    somewhere crux is absent..........does readers feel that?

    rohit
     
  3. nimisha

    nimisha .:Forum Leader:.

    last stanza ends poem abruptly.... as it shows.... both of you were not in true love...
    u in love of money..
    n she in hurry of finding some1 else..
    so the previous explaination of being in love etc etc...is waste...

    i agree... distance may kill love sometimes... but give solid reason for it...
     
  4. madhuresh

    madhuresh madhuresh

    solid reasons for love.....haha intrusting.....bolo guru ji kuch to kaho....
     
  5. nimisha

    nimisha .:Forum Leader:.

    ^^^arre not solid reasons for love...
    i mean solid reasons for seperation, if two people r in true love..
     
  6. madhuresh

    madhuresh madhuresh

    solid reasons for seperation, if two people r in "true love"......:)
    ???
    guru ho jaaoo shruu .....
     
  7. #iR@

    #iR@ GANDI BACHI RELOADED

    luved the line "distance killed ur faith towards me"

    GOOD JOB MAN! :rock:
     

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