Poetry,Sea and Me

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by i'm_not_neo, Feb 18, 2009.

  1. i'm_not_neo

    i'm_not_neo el valor máximo absoluto

    Lame,lame title.Anyway,if you do read this please post your comments.Would mean a lot.

    I stare at the sea,
    Reminiscing,imagining,all at once
    I'm left with a lucid dream
    that withers in reality.

    I look,I ponder..
    I think of the times I've been here,
    thinking of problems that seem trifle.
    And yet I feel a void within,that just gets deeper.

    It takes courage to stand still
    but insanity to travel back..
    My body waits,unlike time;aging.
    And my will gets weaker shouting
    for my soul to come back.

    I watch that lonely ship,
    and that horizon..teasing me to chase it.
    All of this makes wonderful poetry
    that I write as I wait,helplessly.
    looking at the sea,and the music of clashing waves,
    I cry at what has-been,and what will never be.

    But today,I run..shoes,clothes,people..nothing bothers me.
    And I cry like a baby all the way,
    As I dive into the sea..
    Hoping as the water hits my body,
    my soul will wake up to reality.
  2. althought a stupid thought ...but waht happens to the ship ?

    i thin all ships know ..."sagaroon ki kahtiyoon ka koi kinara hata nahin"...

    very well written, ur poem took me some where in the past... wow .... keep writing u r really better than others
  3. horsesmouth

    horsesmouth Active Member

    'twas real good
    mebbe li'l bit furnishing....but real good
    n yea, fits onto me.....m a sailor
  4. detritus

    detritus New Member

    Loved the last para, its pretty good all around to, you havent let rhyme scheming trap you.
    btw, its 'problems that seem trifling' not 'trifle' cuz thats a type of cake =P

    also, maybe its just me but 'withers to reality' sounds better than 'withers in reality' ..just my 2 cents
  5. soumya256

    soumya256 New Member

    luv ur poem
    i ws juss lost in it....
    continue ur great wrk
  6. r u still their ?

    coz im still waitin 4 ur response .... what do u think will happen of the ship ?
  7. horsesmouth

    horsesmouth Active Member

    the ship departs from Brazil day-after-tommorrow, n arrives Malaysian port on 6th April....where I board it....
    damn! why do I keep tellin' ma story everytym? y cant I board in Brazil? y do I have to wait another month after a career-ruining wait of 3 months already?
    damn my company, m changing it!
    Guess m too frustrated....
  8. ^ its good you can tell your story so free... u knw atlest some are listning
  9. horsesmouth

    horsesmouth Active Member

    I'm free cuz I know that it wont harm me if I do this, nor it'd do any better hiding alone!

    bdw thanks, u're my company here......
  10. i'm_not_neo

    i'm_not_neo el valor máximo absoluto

    @monica : Sorry for being late.Well the lonely ship for me,is on a voyage..not literally in pursuit of the horizon..horizon was something that shows uncertainty..for me at least.Like a veil into the unknown.The ship is probably confused if it should take the course it's supposed to or go and wander the ocean.I could go on n on about this.I hope you got the point.
  11. horsesmouth

    horsesmouth Active Member

    So it is'nt all 'bout Brazil n Malaysia?

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