Plz Put all your Forwards HERE

Discussion in 'The ChitChat Lounge' started by Nanda, Sep 22, 2005.

  1. Nanda

    Nanda Bassist

    Hey .... Lotsa time ive seen a NEW thread being created each time a person gets a forward .... So thought it'll will be better to create a single thread where evry one can post ......

    MODS can ya plz make this sticky .. Or let it remain sticky after i make it ??

    Ok here is the first one ...

    Amitabh: Mausi ladka "S/W Company " mein kaam karta hai...

    Mausi: Hai raam...

    Amitabh: Aajkal allocated bhi hai...

    Mausi: To kya kabhi unallocated (i.e. bench pe) bhi

    rahta hai????

    Amitabh: Ab C rating waalon ka allocation itni asaani

    se kahaan hota hai mausi...

    Mausi: To kya C rating bhi aati hai uski????

    Amitabh: PL se ladaai karne ke baad A ya uske upar ki

    rating to nahin na milti hai mausi...

    Mausi: To kya ladaaku bhi hai????

    Amitabh: Ab onsite jaane ko na mile to ho jaati hai

    kabhi-kabhi anban...

    Mausi: To kya onsite bhi nahin gayaa aaj tak????

    Amitabh: Ab civil engineers ka Visa itni jaldi kahaan

    lagta hai mausi...

    Mausi: To kya ladka civil engineer hai???? Engineering

    kaun se college se kiya hai????

    Amitabh: Bas uska pataa lagte hi hum aapko khabar kar


    Amitabh: To kya main rishta pakka samjhun mausi??

    Mausi: Bhale hi hamaari ladki call center waale se

    shaadi kar le, par S/W engineer se kabhi nahin

  2. jekyll

    jekyll Banned

    Hey Nanda, you might be an old member here but I found that offending even degrading.
  3. Nanda

    Nanda Bassist

    Whts offending about that dude ..... Some time pass anyway i didnt write that its just a forward ...

    We can be happy in life .. If and only if we learn to laugh at ourself !!!!!
  4. jekyll

    jekyll Banned

    OK allright Nanda, this is what i received today on email:

    One Chinese person walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg.
    As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph.
    Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, "You Chinese people
    bombed our Pearl Harbor, get outta here.
    "The astonished Chinese man replied, "It was not the Chinese who
    bombed your Pearl Harbor, it was the Japanese".
    "Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg.
    In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says, "You sank the
    Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship.
    "Shocked, Spielberg replies, "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not

    The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the

    This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a competition
    organized in Britain and this joke was sent by an Indian.
  5. ronnieanand

    ronnieanand n00bier th@n th0u

    Nanda asking for trouble by spamming more and more :beer: .
  6. Nanda

    Nanda Bassist

    hey this is not spam ...
    This is fun .... Thts wht chit chat lounge is for ... come on guys dont be afraid ... DONT FEAR THE REAPER ..... (MODS LET ME KNOW IF THIS THREAD IS WRONG I'LL STOP IT IMMIDEATELY)

    Ok the nxt 1 ......


    Technical Support Team:

    I am desperate for some help. I recently upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that the new program began giving unexpected errors and also took up a lot of space and valuable resources. This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure. In addition Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization where it monitors all other system activity.

    Applications such as Boys Night out 2.5 and Cricket 5.3 no longer run and crash the system whenever selected. Attempting to operate Saturday Sports Bar 6.3 always fails but Saturday Shopping 7.1 runs instead. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background whilst attempting to run any of my favorite applications.

    I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend7.0 but uninstall doesn't work on this program.

    With regards,




    Dear Chandrakant,

    This is a very common problem resulting from a basic misunderstanding. Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program. Whereas Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM designed by its creator to run everything.

    You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0 as Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this and it is impossible to uninstall, delete or purge the program files from the system once installed.

    Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or wife 2.0 but have ended up with even more problems. (See in manual under alimony Support and
    solicitors Fees).

    Having Wife 1.0 installed myself I recommend you keep it installed and deal with the difficulties as best you can. When any faults or problems occur, whatever you think has caused them, you must run the C: \I APOLOGISE program and avoid attempting to use the *Esc-key. It may be necessary to run C:\ I APOLOGISE a number of times but hopefully eventually the operating system will return to normal.

    Wife 1.0 although a very high maintenance program can be very rewarding. To get the most out of it consider buying additional software such as Flowers 2.0 and Chocolates 5.0.

    Thank you for using the program!!

    With regards,

    Anil Dichpalli

    P.S. In no case try to install the free software (Mother-in-Law 1.0) that comes with WIFE 1.0 operating system. Installing the software would
    lead to Not Responding messages from Wife1.0 operating system
  7. vishwa_81us

    vishwa_81us Banned

  8. Guitar boy

    Guitar boy New Member

    I ran into a stranger as he passed by,"Oh excuse me please" was my reply.
    He said, "Please excuse me too;I wasn't watching for you."
    We were very polite, this stranger and I.
    We went on our way and we said goodbye.

    But at home a different story is told,How we treat our loved ones, young and old.
    Later that day, cooking the evening meal, My son stood beside me very still.
    When I turned, I nearly knocked him down. "Move out of the way," I said with a frown.He walked away, his little heart broken.I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.

    While I lay awake in bed, God's still small voice came to me and said,
    "While dealing with a stranger,common courtesy you use, but the family you love, you seem to abuse.
    Go and look on the kitchen floor, You'll find some flowers there by the door.
    Those are the flowers he brought for you. He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue. He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise, you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes."

    By this time, I felt very small,And now my tears began to fall. I quietly went and knelt by his bed;
    "Wake up, little one, wake up," I said. "Are these the flowers you picked for me?"
    He smiled, "I found 'em, out by the tree. I picked 'em because they're pretty like you. I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue."
    I said, "Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today; I shouldn't have yelled at you that way." He said, "Oh, Mom, that's okay. I love you anyway." I said, "Son, I love you too, and I do like the flowers, especially the blue."

    Are you aware that if we died tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days.
    But the family we left behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.
    And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than into our own family, an unwise investment indeed, don't you think?
    So what is behind the story?
    Do you know what the word FAMILY means?

  9. Guitar boy

    Guitar boy New Member

    Martin wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.

    Martin looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table. "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love You!"

    So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Martin asks, "Son, what happened last night?"

    His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door." Confused, Martin asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me? I should expect a big quarrel with her!"

    His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off, you said, "Lady leave me alone! I'm married!"

    Self-induced hangover -- $100.00
    Broken furniture -- $2,000.00
    Breakfast -- $10.00
    Saying The Right Thing While Drunk- PRICELESS
  10. rocking_devil

    rocking_devil Banned

    nice one dude!
  11. shak

    shak Harrr!

    Two individuals proceeded towards the apex of a natural geologic

    protuberance, the purpose of their expedition being the procurement of

    a sample of fluid hydride of oxygen in a large vessel, the exact size

    of which was unspecified. One member of the team precipitously

    descended, sustaining severe damage to the upper cranial portion of

    his anatomical structure; Subsequently the second member of the team

    performed a self rotational translation oriented in the same direction

    taken by the first team member.

    in simple English what does this translate to??

    Jack and jill went up the hill

    to fetch a pail of water

    Jack fell down and broke his crown

    and jill came tumbling after!!!
  12. ive read it before
    but still
  13. the_wizard

    the_wizard Omega == God

    Bumper PJ

    Bumper PJ

    Ø > How to convert a bus into a female??
    > >
    > > .
    > >
    > > .
    > >
    > > .
    > >
    > > Come late to the bus stop ...
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > > Bus Miss ho jayegi!!!
  14. bobbit_uncut

    bobbit_uncut Banned

    that kinda reminds of the fwd where the situation is that u are in a boat and u have to light a matchstick

    u know there are 5 different ways to do it?
  15. the_wizard

    the_wizard Omega == God

    yea....old one...dont remember all...

    1. take sm water....and release it drop by drop "tip tip barsa paani...paani ne aag lagayee"...frm this aag burn the matchstick :p:

    2. throw some stuff from ur boat in the river...ur boat will become lighter...use this lighter to brn the matchstick :p:

    dont rememebr the rest...
  16. bobbit_uncut

    bobbit_uncut Banned

    3. throw the matchstick up in the air and catch it - "catches win matches" ... now u got lotsa matches and many more ways to burn one of them :p:
    4. start priasing the other matchstick - pehla waala apne aap jalne lagega :RollLol:

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