those lonely and teary nights walking each miles to pursue the dream reaching the steps and sharing with beloved...... everything was so nice and for me.....it was dream come true thundering applauses on my name, being responsible for the betterment of women.... international awards at such a young age brought joy to family..... with world at my feet evrything seems settled... god grace was enuf and above all parents approved the choice i suggested.... with high hopes and good family life... i proposed to my beloved... she refused to be my emotional support till my life.. shocked... disgruntled and angered on her ego my world crumbled down in one second.. all the success looks pale infront of her negation.... i threw the acid on the face of my beloved hiding the folder carrying award for uplifting women in society.... rohit astroguru26
conclusions are worst thing..............options are readily available....i feel ... decisions depends... rohit astroguru26
this concept was not good... didnt like it... ^^^which conclusions u r talking bout? n which options do you mean? when u post poems... u will get appreciation n criticism equally... dare to bear all....
feels like u have written this poem for sake of writing it...thts my personal openion....anyway can only say "nice try".
nah this is not jus for sake of writing ........he wanted it to sound bad .... ab mili hai to jee le.... rooj naye zakhm bana rooj see le... kadvahat ghat jyegi, bas khatti hogi namak daal, neebu nichood ke pee le... wish im not right...
deliberately......i create the protagonist as myself.........well received by me and thanks to all atleast reading it.......and comments are really the catalyst this time for me................. for me...good noone liked it.............a kick in the ass is the movement forward...... i will be soon trying to amend my ways of creating the imagination on paper......till then ..bid adieu rohit astroguru26
Friend. I liked it. I think this is your imaginary writing and not real..(have been asumin your other writings as well, so pls tell me if am wrong) And as far as the writing is concerned...you* feel left, betrayed and dont like her for she rejecting you..right? though you work for the upliftment of women...you "OUTBURST" at your beloved for hurting you,...and you, as any possessive lover, have acted in haste...though you are a person much respected in the society for your works and a blessed son of blessed parents. *you=central character in this. and now you, Rohit...the reason i refered this as a writing and not a poem cos there are certain elements that are essential to be called a poem...and that are missing.So, if you work on that and see to it that are present there's nothing like it. The themes you have portrayed till now are awesome!!! Nothing more to describe them. Hope you like this criticism and appreciation...pls tell me if i am wrong anywhere...
:RollLol::RollLol: that was one of the most piercing criticsm i have ever seen> @rohit compare to ur other poems this ones pretty low even the theme isn't to everyones liking
definitely ill-written. the abruptness has a reason (coz its an "outburst") but a strange tendency to omit articles (a, an, the) !!!
Beating around the bush is definitely easier but it wastes my time and his....and he did take it pretty well (which is a good quality).
