I liked it but I couldn't help getting a very unfinished vibe from this. To me this leaves the character potrayed as rather needy and slightly weak....If I were you, I'd add another verse or at least a couple of lines to this which would be some sort of closure or reconcilation....perhaps how time does not wait even though your heart wants to. I know the feeling but I also realize that there are times when you have to force yourself to move on. @vishwa- I seem to get the feeling that I've heard that somewhere but if you've written it yourself, amazingly good! This is just a suggestion...whether you accept it or not is entirely up to you. Just put my two cents in.
@ ssslayer....... thanks............ @ bubbly........ THANKS A LOT YAAAAAAAAR!!!!!!!!!! seriously...... i mean i don't rite much of peotry... and this was MY FIRST POEM POSTED ON THIS SITE! so THANKS A LOT! i just rote it wen i was really sad!!!!!! thanks again!!!!! @ bjr......... thanks A LOT for your suggestions..... but wen i rote this i was just thinking of something that made me weak and was thinking of a time that was about to come and it would leave me TOTALLY SHATTERED! so...... i just grabbed a pen and a paper and rote wat i felt! HI..... would u like to add a verse to it? ALL SORTS OF CONTRIBUTIONS R WELCOMED........... just do justice to it! : THANKS EVERY ONE!!!!!!!!!! keep your suggestions coming!
@ssslayer--- welxxx dude..... anymore comments ppl! really wanna know wat u guys think of this peom! :think:
@ aniktad thanks for the reps DUDE.......... thanks a lOT! @ssslayer.......... still waiting for a reply from rocking_devil!
@ ssslayer....... lol ....... @ jal_babe..........mainly just one poem...... the other one was more like a spam! anyways......... thanks!
