Oh Yeah !!! ( one more try in erotica )

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by vishwa_81us, Dec 29, 2005.

  1. vishwa_81us

    vishwa_81us Banned

    Dear all,

    I hope this time it doesn't turn out to be funny...

    enough of words exchanged..
    enough thoughts revealed..
    its the time to go to bed..
    u.. i and that cozy shed..

    cool breeze blowing..
    senses are just rolling..
    you come closer to me..
    and smooch me..

    tear off ur clothes..
    take of ur shoes..
    bite ur lips..
    grab ur hips..

    sometimes u on me..
    sometimes i on u..
    no barrier between the skins..
    love love n love means..

    ur eyes tease me..
    ur touch please me..
    only the tonge rolls..
    on the big boobs..

    i m on u moan..
    senses all gone..
    fragnances say..
    Oh Yeah !!!!

    Comment plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    Vishwa :cool:
  2. Bleeding Guitar

    Bleeding Guitar New Member

    only the tonge rolls..
    on the big balls..

    man ur retard heh cuz for that one have to take a rib out :think:
  3. shsnawada

    shsnawada Cyborgs & Pasta

    Funny....(maybe unintetionally)
  4. vishwa_81us

    vishwa_81us Banned

    no replies.. :eek::
  5. koolstrum

    koolstrum The Chosen One

    cut the crap out pal. ur erotica is gonna go over board n that too without a life jacket. ok serious note: that aint so gud . u shudnt get motivated in writing such stuff. instead of being sensual its gettin ***ualy explicit. i guess thats enough a message for you. bubye n TAKE CARE! i am not so buzzed off as it might sound.chillz
  6. shsnawada

    shsnawada Cyborgs & Pasta

    Unintentionally funny. Dude, i'm being dead serious (and a 15 year old as well), but this seems like a 12 year old's attempt. I mean you cant change the theme a lot, but you could change the execution.....(this is an OPINION).
  7. .:SpY_GaMe:.

    .:SpY_GaMe:. New Member


    i now agree with dennis

    we must get vishwa's threads published!!
  8. dennis

    dennis The Bhangra King

    see^^^.....haha, we cud name it Mast Vishwa
  9. .:SpY_GaMe:.

    .:SpY_GaMe:. New Member

    muhahaahahahaha @ dennis
  10. Bleeding Guitar

    Bleeding Guitar New Member

    am still thinking abt you singing and playing this infrot of public .. lol big balls and stuff haha they gonna crack up at this part am sure kid
  11. madhuresh

    madhuresh madhuresh

    not a bad try.....bus thoda compact hona tha....some more of hidden meanings ..thoda jyaada khulla- khulla hai bas... may be like this if u say

    satraight towards me as u walk...
    last thing on ur mind is to talk....
    this hurts, thats soft
    senses all wild and silence aloft...

    pata nahi is this crappy?
  12. Bleeding Guitar

    Bleeding Guitar New Member

    heh i dun even wanna talk abt it more cuz it won't go anywhere
    u know what i mean heh
  13. UjSen

    UjSen *#!EVIL*!!

    Funny Again!
  14. shantanukr

    shantanukr yEh DiL mAanGe m0rE

    Kya baat hai yaar ... sab kuch khol ke rakh diya ..

  15. akkyy21

    akkyy21 #%@!$&

    Or,.... say,.... Vishwa ki Jawani!
  16. CrYpTiC_angel

    CrYpTiC_angel Rebelle!

    LMAO@ vishwa ki jawani

    now abt the poem... err... it's bad..... (that's jst what i think)

    and the tongue rolling part was sick
  17. Bleeding Guitar

    Bleeding Guitar New Member

    umm well not really heh abt the rolling part ....

    think someone else is goin to ya lol if u think ur self doin it ofcrse u'll feel sick

    haha jusy playing man
    keep rocking
  18. notty_lad

    notty_lad sudo undress

    :RollLol: .. Vishwa its high time u understand dat there is a thin line between EROTICA and POR.N .. juz becoz their spellings Are so different doesn't mean they can be messed wid :RollLol:
  19. knight_guitar

    knight_guitar Lead Guitarist

    Vishwa instead of B**Bs u can use hidden hills what for man ? i bet u copy these stuffs from P.orn sites or like that or do u write for them ???
  20. nitinzep

    nitinzep New Member

    this is not at all erotic. Sounds like somebody is trying his/her hand at sentence formation after reading Human Digest for the first time....

    Vishwa...dude...i recommend reading some daniel steele and some of the aforementioned literature together...i mean...side by side.. hehe

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