Hi Guyz, I m not into serious poetry.. lemme write something hatke.... one fine evening was sitting in my cube.. checking my mails lookign at my code.. some new work some pending work.. some work to do some work to get it done.. suddenly a voice caught me from behind.. wat ppl call fragnance invaded my mind.. the words Hi vishwa were just spoken.. something from me was already taken.. turned back to see the person so close to me.. she was a beauty in red n blue standing in front of me.. Her black eyes n red lips i saw them moving.. she was my new collegue with whom i will be working.. She was looking at me as if she never saw a male.. no one in office came so close to me n that too a female.. before i can speak anything more she hugged me in my chair.. trust me when i m writing these lines she is still here... It was a holiday and i was working late.. wat shall i call this destiny or my fate.. she told me she knew me from years.. her voice was soft mind free from fears.. Sitting on my lap she talked for a while.. Don't know wat she spoke I just saw her smile.. With her arms all arround my neck I was blessed.. The moment freezed in my eyes when i got smooched.. There was silence with no words spoken.. there was emotion with no hearts broken.. there was a passion with no senses invoked.. there was an orgasm with no feelings provoked.. Huh !!! can't write more than that... lemme know if i can improve more in poetry... ~Bish.
Oh stop it all you haters. He just wrote a poem about a topic that is unnecessarily taboo. I thought it was quite well written for a humorous poem. The rhyme scheme is off at a few places and when writing poetry, make the "wat"s into "what"s and others. But all in all a good effort, why dont you try writing about some "serious" topics as you say and we can judge how well it's done.
When I saw 6 or 7 replies to your poem,I thought they all must've been positive..apparently not all of 'em are... Anyways,I must say its an interesting read...but do you mean "orgasm" literally or, you know,"poetically speaking"??An actual orgasm feels a bit too extreme so I assumed you meant joy of that degree.. Good lines: These are brilliant lines (without context to the rest of the poem)..so ignore comments like "don't ever write again"...which I presume you already have.. And lastly... Where do you exactly work??:
thanx distu and not_neo for sensible comments.. i do agree wid u guyz.. i will take care of the points u mentioned.. i wrote this poem wid a vey light thot.. may b in 5 mins.. just 2 bring some homour in peoetry section.. well i hv already written some serious poems earlier.. will write some more.. by the way as u mentioned Orgasm here doesn't depict any thing ***ual.. its just the state of utmost pleasure.. i was just waiting to see who gets me correct atleast there someone here who understands things poetically.. cheers to that.. wait for some more masterpieces by me..
reading word 'orgasm'... i thought this poetry must be tooo................................... anyways.. now that u say.. its a poetic kinda expression...state of utmost pleasure.. etc etc.. so.. :beer: :beer: for this hat ke attempt!
nice thought ... but you wasted it ... could have been far far better if written well ... it seemed like you were narrating a s.experience ... keep trying. good try.
