Nice guys finish last?

Discussion in 'The ChitChat Lounge' started by bjr, Jun 22, 2008.

  1. bjr

    bjr Lady of the Evening

    This here is the article

    This is something I've found to be rather true.....nice guy or even nice girl.

    Discuss. Stories about things that have happened to you that illustrate this point shall get an aww and a hug.
  2. elfascinating

    elfascinating risqué


    To put it in a better way I'd say .. "He who supplicates, masturbates"

    Also remember Chandler's line? "You are a nice guy" means "I'm gonna be dating leather wearing alcoholics and complain about them to you"

    Anyway, One incident that comes to my mind is recently during a squash match of a friend against a rival company.

    We 3 (friends) were sitting outside cheering for our playing friend in a tight game .. Next to us was a pretty looking female squash player from the rival team who was also watching the men's final. She had won the women's title already so we had to win the men's. As the match was going on, my friend (sitting with me) was all over her with compliments as in how great she plays and congrats on winning and blah blah.
    The game was won by my friend 9-7 but they both missed out on the final score so she asked me what the score was. I said "Well .. we must've won 9-0 or something"
    I could literally see her eyebrow go up slightly.

    Hooked up with her later and got her involved in me. Wasn't difficult as she knew my friend who was playing. His college friend. It acted like a bonus.
  3. i'm_not_neo

    i'm_not_neo el valor máximo absoluto

    (this I got from the Wristcutters movie)This kid tries to perform a miracle which others seem to perform without even noticing it.He gets frustrated though he keeps trying over n over and so he's told that it only happens when it doesn't matter.And the movie did mean to apply this to love.
    If you're nice..make sure you aren't being nice just because you want to be in a rship or because you're worried he/she might ditch you..
    If you're self-indulgent..make sure you aren't being that just because you're hoping that it'll attract your significant other or show her how you can be fine without her.
    Or well that's what I've come to believe now.
  4. Petunia

    Petunia terminally dorky

    *reserves spot*
    i couldnt get the stupid link ill comment later.
  5. anshphenomenon

    anshphenomenon Rape me :boff:

    the guy makes sense.
  6. bjr

    bjr Lady of the Evening

    You suck at the internet [/not nice]
  7. thehundredthone

    thehundredthone New Member

    I was actually startled when I found out that this was true. Well at least for the most part.
  8. Petunia

    Petunia terminally dorky

    *reads article*

    Yea..I can totally dig this. As a woman, I can safely say that majority of us do feel that way, and are often attracted to the men who show some side of aggression and confidence, not necessarily the big buff, egotistical maniacs, that you can sometimes see here on IGT but the ones who are more secure about their life, and can take responsibility.

    We often like assertiveness and a show for compassion. The whimpy/nice ones are often the submissive ones. The catch 22 mark with these folk is that they wanna do whatever and however the girl wants, because well, they are just plain dumb and nice. The truth of the matter is, we dont want submission. We dont like submission. We want someone who can put his foot down (lightly, ofcourse) and make some decisions. With the same token, we don't appreciate a man who is forcing himself (metaphorically) down our throats. We like being given the choices ...

    hopefully that makes sense. :)

    Personal experience: Now that i think about it, almost all my successful relationships were with guys who were assertive and confident and not afraid to show it.

    My worst relationship by far was with a a guy (who was 2 years younger than me-was that the problem? :p) .. his obsession with me was annoying, needless to say, but what drove me up the wall was that he was so submissive. He would do whatever/however i wanted... never had a say in anything. Sweet as hell, but couldnt make a decision for himself. I couldnt do it. And when i broke up with him, literally try picturing a chick walking away with a guy clinging to her legs. lol. (dirty minds stay out of here!!)

    but yea, so all you guys out there..

    Get both traits. Be assertive. Confident. Dump the ego. We hate ego!! Be submissive to a point, where you and her can come to an understanding and you aren tripping because you arent getting what you want. Be sweet and compassionate but not a bag of overflowing love. That makes some of us squirm, we like men. Not women. :cool:

    damn, now i sound like dr. phil. :shock: I need to stop.

    elfascinating likes this.
  9. elfascinating

    elfascinating risqué

    ^Nicely put! [/submissive] :D
  10. anshphenomenon

    anshphenomenon Rape me :boff:

    generally what i have seen is that,if ur not submissive then either u have an ego or it would lead to u being a chauvinist.
    or it might lead on to that.
  11. elfascinating

    elfascinating risqué

    That's ok .. You shouldn't care what a woman thinks of you.
    The biggest sin guys commit is that they try to gain her approval. Questions like "What will she think?" "What if she will think me to being a jerk?"

    You gotta be outrageous and assertive. You should have an attitude which shows that you're great with her .. and even without her you're happy.
    Never answer her questions directly and blandly. Look for humor/sarcasm u can create. etc etc.
    You'll be called rude, nasty, meano, chauvinist etc but she'll hold u at the end of the day. You just have to balance it with Humor.

    Remember, There's a world of a difference between what a woman claims what she likes/wants and what she actually responds to/gets attracted to.
  12. anshphenomenon

    anshphenomenon Rape me :boff:

    ^^ who better to answer this:p:

    or as she said, as long as ur submissive only to a point, so as to only reach an understanding is what should be good.
  13. Petunia

    Petunia terminally dorky

    Aah, but the sad truth is that people like you care the most. Or you wouldn't try so hard by resorting to a petty characteristic such as humor in trying to win a girl's heart, would you? You wouldn't need to, if you truly were all that you say you are.

    And that my dear friend, is the sick tragedy of the male ***. Its like a second skin. You walk down the street, try to hit on a girl..and pick tactics carefully, cautiously...cos the drum beat of "what if she thinks of me as a jerk" is louder than your heart.
    Its not a sin, its just male nature to worry.. Hell, it's a woman's fear too. And not just in see that in any kind of relationship, work, personal, family...etc.

    ..And from what i gather, your guide on relationships tells you bring those worlds together with...humor? :shock: lmfao. you havent been in too many relationships have you? :)

    Humor does help lighten the tension or bring a sense of calmness to the relationship, comfort and a sense of closeness; but it doesn't win hearts. Trust me.
  14. anshphenomenon

    anshphenomenon Rape me :boff:

    ^^you sure do sound as a dr.phil.
  15. alpha1

    alpha1 I BLUES!

    First funda in meeting and getting a female is to care a damn about her. Her means - her ideals, her wishes, her thinking etc.

    Dont caring doesnt mean being rude, its more like being indifferent.
    And its not somehting that you "put on".
    Its something which comes from within, when you dont really have "expectations" from the other person.

    Strictly speaking, I have seen that girls take every such "meet" as a game.
    The more you also play ... the better (and more intense) your prospects become.
    The faster you subdue the game, and turn into a wimp, the faster you get the boot.

    The key is (IMO) not to have ANY preconceived expectations/hope/anticipation/planning etc. It jut makes the guys a pvssy. And total "just a friend" material to the other gender.

    Oh and making fun (as in challenging) of her "ideal/opinions/thinking/..." etc does help in adding spice and heat ;)
    Oh and being polished certainly helps.
  16. alpha1

    alpha1 I BLUES!

    PS: Eh, Petunia ...
    so you are a psycho major? ;)
  17. elfascinating

    elfascinating risqué

    @Petunia. Shit you busted me! I was looking to console myself on the internet by pretending to have been in many relationships and by showing I don't care .. but now you've sent me back in my shell for months to come.

    Where can I find sad sentimental songs? *sob*
  18. Petunia

    Petunia terminally dorky

    @PING OF PONGS: i know...:cry2: and i never thot id see the day. lol
    @alpha: that is one of my specialties ;)
    this is as sad and emo as i could get. :cool:
    will this keep you from coming back for a couple months? *hopeful*
  19. elfascinating

    elfascinating risqué

    ^You actually took the pain to find a link. Lol.
    You do care a lot.
  20. Petunia

    Petunia terminally dorky

    Actually, it was courtesy of someone else. Apparently, its the new rage here at IGT. Recognize the man?
    I come to IGT to waste my time. The reason I spend so much of it on you, is cos you're quite entertaining, in a pathetic way.

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