my unexpressed love....(poem)

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by nandy0894, May 10, 2010.

  1. nandy0894

    nandy0894 New Member

    i stare wen i hear ur laughter 4 its like chimes
    i stare at those lips 4 dey move in a flow of sm rhyme...
    ur eyes twinkle nd i know ecstacy
    i feel it nd den i am far away 4m all worlds misery...
    i bless dat wind dat blows ur hair away 4m ur face
    i bless it 4 it sets my love ablaze...
    my heart skips a beat wen u suddenly luk up at me
    i stand still...i freeze too overwhelmed to go away or to flee...
    u stare a me nd i tremble
    u want me to say smthing..but to say a word i need my thots to assemble...
    u smile nd move away
    i dun even blink nd watch u past sway...
    i know dat i'd never b able to say nythin'
    i can only hope dat u understand .... all my unspoken words....my unheard laughter....my unflowed tears...nd my unexpressed love....
    smtym.....smday......
     
  2. i liked it.. :p
     
  3. walk_alone

    walk_alone **~~| An Atheist |~~**

    wow!!! flows like a river, amazing imagery ... and this is something that everyone can associate themselves with. Love it.

    Just one bit of advice ... dont use short words like "dem" for "them", "wen" for "when", "4" for "for", it really kills the poem and is not correct way of expression.


    waiting for another one from you.
     
  4. sukriti_hats

    sukriti_hats Member

    the poem's sweet :)
     
  5. nandy0894

    nandy0894 New Member

    thnx a lot all of u..nd yes "walk alone" i'd definately keep that in mind!!!!
     
  6. prathamjain

    prathamjain New Member

    really nice
     
  7. horsesmouth

    horsesmouth Active Member

    definitely good! keep posting!
    n yea....i agree with walk_alone...
     
  8. nandy0894

    nandy0894 New Member

    thnk u dear...
     

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