~|| My Precious Void ||~

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by vini, Dec 1, 2005.

  1. vini

    vini Repeat Offender

    ~My PrEcIoUS vOiD~​

    As the clock ticks away..everyone keeps up running about for something..

    The needles meet and split again a zillion times..

    So the man chases his wishes ageing, standing, dreaming something..

    We meet, forget, regret, beget.. yet never ends the counting..

    But welcome to this side i have lots of time to gaze at grass,moon and sky..

    I wait for you and wait for the needles to meet sometimes so as you come nigh..

    For we could sit at the pavement and talk nothing but watch the world go by.......




    Just another state of mindish not so poem like sounding poem! :)
     
    the_wizard likes this.
  2. CrYpTiC_angel

    CrYpTiC_angel Rebelle!

    way to go vini!!

    i loved the fact that u didnt bother to make it rhyming ;)

    love it.. :)
     
  3. vini

    vini Repeat Offender

    i did yet didnt care to rhyme :p:
     
  4. shak

    shak Harrr!

    For we could sit at the pavement and talk nothing but watch the world go by.......

    ^ simple, yet, something that i really would like to do with my girl ...
    aah .. you are right vini, time goes so fast, and we take so many silly things as they come, never realizing that there are some downright simple thigns that can mean so much to us, that we ignore .. and secretly, i think we do yearn for them ...
    read your poem 3 times .. but still dont get a few lines, maybe they belong to you thats why .. only you can understand them, and to be honest i didnt even get the idea behind this poem ...... nevertheless .. love this one .. it is one of those which one can relate to oneself, just like that!!
     
  5. vini

    vini Repeat Offender

    ^^ even i dont know what i've tried to put forth with the help of some words..ur right they belong to my own/personal thoughts!

    thanx to u and cryptu anyway! :)
     
  6. bjr

    bjr Lady of the Evening

    Lovely title to your poem. Even though it was short, it wasn't incomplete. The poem makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside and I cuddle upto my pillow as I read this.


    hah, admit it...you used "nigh" to rhyme :)
     
  7. vini

    vini Repeat Offender

    yeah...u can say i did!! but didnt try to force the poem to sound typically rhyming!

    thanx! :)
     
  8. anshphenomenon

    anshphenomenon Rape me :boff:

    good poem..!!
     
  9. the_wizard

    the_wizard Omega == God

    great concept...and nice words..

    keep it up
     
  10. vishwa_81us

    vishwa_81us Banned

    OMG.. u people can write so good.. i m no where around u ppl.. nice poem.. nice title... nice thoughts.
     
  11. vini

    vini Repeat Offender

    thenkoo thenkoo :)
     
  12. tejas

    tejas ..........

    Nice one Vini. Really like it. Makes me wanna write something myself. Thanks. Good work.
     
  13. #iR@

    #iR@ GANDI BACHI RELOADED

    really liked it.... GOOD WORK! :)
     
  14. vini

    vini Repeat Offender

    thanx hira and tejas!
     
  15. Garima

    Garima Born to rule <img src="images/smilies/rule.gif" bo

    it reminds me of the song 'cloud#9-Bryan Adams'...the line..'we can watch the world go by...up on cloud#9'.....loves the song...loved ur poem too :)
     

Share This Page