my new piece...

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by ankit_tulsyan, Oct 26, 2005.

  1. ankit_tulsyan

    ankit_tulsyan New Member

    just a few lines i wrote the other day.......... although they mean nothing just my imagination..........
    do give sum feedback...........

    I remember
    That wave of carefree laughter
    Like ripples on blue water
    Like autumn wind rustling through leaves
    Around me , a deadly magic which weaves

    I hear as before
    The music of your voice
    Like sweet bells ringing
    Like a thousand cuckoos singing
    Like rain falling on a tree
    I hear and I know ,you’re still inside me.

    I dream of your eyes
    Like night on a sandy beach
    Like moon filtering through the jungle
    A flash of white lightning
    A fire roaring……consuming

    Wherever i look its u i see
    I know I’m trapped , never to be free
    In the night I lie staring at the ceiling
    You’ve given me wounds ,never healing.
    Witn tears stifled I try to smile
    My fault for I loved a creature vile
    The watch seems jammed
    My breath seems stuck
    The heart beats slow throbbing with pain
    I cry ,I laugh I live in vain
    Struggling with joy and with sorrow
    With you and myself,with everyone
    When at last I feel the light
    Another night past ,I feel the sun......
  2. death angel

    death angel the messenger from hell

    dude grt poem but avoid so much rhyming coz then it sounds like one of the poems that young kids have for their texts
  3. CrYpTiC_angel

    CrYpTiC_angel Rebelle!

    i liked it... :)
  4. rocking_devil

    rocking_devil Banned

    mast poem hai boss! its superb stuff! xcept for this part whihc i found :RollLol:

    thousands of cuckoos singing
  5. CrYpTiC_angel

    CrYpTiC_angel Rebelle!

    ^^^lol.. yeah, i kinda ignored that! :RollLol:
  6. anshphenomenon

    anshphenomenon Rape me :boff:

    good poem..ankit..
    @rockin,cryptu..lolz :p:

    iam thinking of posting some of my stuffs too... ;)
  7. ankit_tulsyan

    ankit_tulsyan New Member


    thanks guys ..........i completely understand abt that cuckoo line . .... its jus that smtimes when i can think of nothing else..... i usually invent sm rubbish to maintain the rhyme scheme..... earlier i was actually thinking of "christmas.......... bells.......... ringing " n stuff but it sounded equally dumb so i ignored it..........neways if u have anything else to replace that line do post it..........thx
  8. CrYpTiC_angel

    CrYpTiC_angel Rebelle!

    dude, u write too??? :shock:

    u never told me!!! :mad:
  9. abhimanjrekar

    abhimanjrekar ----> Zhol-Man<----

    ansh lets see frm u yaar............likh daal do tin tu bhi..ill also resume after my exams r over.....all guitar poets r here.....

Share This Page