My life; taken over!

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by #iR@, Feb 13, 2006.

  1. #iR@


    heres another poem i rote today... comments are always welcomed!

     My life; taken over!

    They mock
    They torture
    They rule

    Their rage
    Their resentment
    Their pride

    Leave us
    Where we r today
    In this darkness
    Which was once endurable

    I refuse
    I suffer
    I ignore

    Yet I smile
    Smile at myself
    Cause I live a life that was once mine

    I mock
    Mock at myself
    Cause I live a life that was once mine

    What sort of a life do I lead?
    With just commands
    To fulfill

    With just orders
    To accept

    With lips
    That r sealed

    Its time to get back
    Back at them!

    It’s time to make them realize
    Who we r
    And who we have turned into!

    comments plzz...:cool:
    metal_fan69 and sweetie like this.
  2. CrYpTiC_angel

    CrYpTiC_angel Rebelle!

    i like the idea behind all ur poems! and i love this one :)
  3. #iR@


    @ cryptic... thanks a lot! means a lOT! :)
    abhimanjrekar likes this.
  4. sweetie

    sweetie New Member

    Hira your poems are just amazing and cool..Really touches the soul..
  5. walk_alone

    walk_alone **~~| An Atheist |~~**


    Iam not just replying for the sake of replying but there is a volcano ready to burst out....u r a rebel for sure.

    Nice selection of words.
    Amazing thts all i can say.
  6. abhimanjrekar

    abhimanjrekar ----> Zhol-Man<----

    ..wont say nething....reps delivered....
  7. amit82cse

    amit82cse Silent observeR

    well done hira....I like the way this poem is written....short half cut sentences which are communicating the whole feeling...just remarkable...
  8. #iR@


    @ sweetie... thanks a lot for the reps and ur comments! :)

    @ walk_alone... thanks a lot man! :)

    @ abhi... thanks man! :) means a lot!

    @ amit... thanks!

    thanks a lot all of u!!!!!!!!!! :) :) :)
  9. madhuresh

    madhuresh madhuresh

    Yet I smile
    Smile at myself
    Cause I live a life that was once mine

    hmm goood ..i heard somethng realted ..."when some one commits a mistake and smiles he know, whome to blame for it"
  10. #iR@


    @ madhuresh... thanks! :)
  11. nimisha

    nimisha .:Forum Leader:.

    hira last time i commented u have nice ideas..but need to work on writting skill....
    but this poem is very well written....
    wud have given reps.. but gotta sp
  12. UjSen

    UjSen *#!EVIL*!!

    Where do u get such ideas????
    u must be a rebel>like walk alone said>
  13. #iR@


    @ nimisha... thanks a lot gurl! :)

    @ ujsen... well... i don't know, i guess i think a lot!and about wat u and walk_alone said... i won't say anything! thanks for reading though! :)
  14. Hardik

    Hardik .:.:.:BoRn TaLenT:.:.:.

    hey,how come i missed this one....its gr8 hira,..reminds me of my "its better in hell.." liked it very much:)
  15. metal_fan69

    metal_fan69 To Live Is To Die

    Gandi Bachi but good poem...

    Reps for u....
  16. nimitr

    nimitr New Member

    hey #iR@ ... this poem is extremely opposite to ur id (gandi bacchi) ... bahut hi acchi poem :) ... very well written ...incomplete sentences convey the full msg .. good choice of words. .. very well written ..... :nw:
  17. #iR@


    @ hardik... thanks a lot man! always looking forward to ur comments! :)

    @ metal_fan69... thanks for the reps... means a lot!

    @ nimitr... WOW... THANKS A LOT MAN!!!!! TRUST ME I FEEL GREAT! :)

    @ everyone.... $t0p CaLlING me a GANDI BACHI! :annoyed:
  18. nimitr

    nimitr New Member

    dont mind #iR@ ... i luv calling u GANDI BACHI .. coz whenever i say it i actually mean ACCHI BACHI :) ....
  19. #iR@


    @ nimitr... right.......... :annoyed:

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