Dear Folks, Here is a ghazal(or whatever you call) which I am sharing with you. I wrote it in year 1998. Hope you will enjoy this piece of poetry. Mujhko mile jo zakhmon ke nishan Har ek se kaise karun bayan Roshan ik shama-e-zindgani Tufan ka kafila kar gaya dhuan dhuan Mahtab-e-shab dekh kar na hairan hai Chhup gaya hai dhundh kar badlon ka ashiyan Manzil nahin aur raste bhi gum hain Dar dar bhatakne se banta nahin hai karwan Zindagi me mukam aise bhi aate hain Saya bhi chal deta hai na jane kahan Yours, :beer: kordz player :beer:
Thank you Dear friend, Thanks a lot for your valueable compliments. That will boost my confidence level and I will come up with new ones. Thanks again kordz
Sorry leader I do apologise for the extra thread i have added to this. Let me suggest what to do in this regard, if needed further such help. actually i want people know more and more about it. That is it. kordz
:rock: :rock: :rock: itne deeno ke baad aise shab sunne ko mile hain... wonderful....keeping flowing your ghazals...
Oh yeah!! Here is the same man: itne deeno ke baad aise shab sunne ko mile hain... Thank you for your quotes. Thanks a lot. Cheered to hear this..... kordz...
Hey thats good... though i didnt get a few words : Here is something which just came to my mind while i was reading your ghazal. zindagi mein kissko milta hai mukammal jahan kyon bhool baithe hai hum aaye the akele yahan
Kamaal ho gaya!!! Wow overwhelming response. Good to see. Your sher was also good indeed. Wanna read more of my stuff? Let me know then. Bye kordz
In strict sense it does not qualify as a ghazal .. There is no matla(first two lines of ghazal should end wid da same word(s)) in ur poem .. which is a must .. E.g .. Aah ko chahiye ek umr asar hone tak .. Kaun jeeta hai teri zulf ke sar hone tak | Humne maana tagaaful na karogi lekin .. Khaak ho jayenge hum tumko khabar hone tak (muh fav ghazal by Ghalib) If a ghazal doesn't have a Matla then atleast da second lines of each sher in da ghazal should be same (hamradeef ghazal) which is not da case in ur poem E.g. 1. meharbaan ho ke bulaa lo mujhe chaaho jis waqt main gayaa waqt nahin hoon ke phir aa bhi na sakoon 2. zauf meiN taanaa-e-aGHyaar ka shikwaa kyaa hai? baat kuchh sar to nahin hai ke uThaa bhi na sakoon There is no "radeef"(last word(s) of every second line of each sher should be same) in ur poem Now even after this .. it might still roughly qualify for as Ghair-muraddaf ghazal (second line of each sher doesn't end in same word(s)) but a Ghair-muraddaf ghazal should strictly follow "Beher" (Length of da sher) which is varying .. like this .. Mujhko mile jo zakhmon ke nishan Har ek se kaise karun bayan Mahtab-e-shab dekh kar na hairan hai Chhup gaya hai dhundh kar badlon ka ashiyan ^^These 2 shers are of different "Beher" But again .. "Beher" is a very complicated concept .. so unsure .. There is No Matla, No Radeef & beher is doubtful(acc to me) n its these small things which differenciate a ghazal from a Song or poem .. n if u look at it very leniently it may qualify as a rare ghazal .. but strictly its not .. I have spent lotsa time long back in muh junior college findin da diff.. n this detailed view is not to criticize u .. but to share knowledge .. Wat do u have to say bout it ??? i mean of course u might have ur point which i would like to know .. i'l vote after listenin to u .. n last but not da least .. Nice lines written ..
reads the above explanation... *looks for her dictionary... *remembers that she left hindi way back in class VII aaah....but this is urdu sorry... wrong number !! *walks out
What i wanted i got!!! I know there is a lot of theory of writing ghazals. I haven't read any single word of that. But do not compare my composition with Mirza Ghalib. I have written what i have thought. No doubt those who are ghazal writer and lyrics writer know all these things. Let me suggest any book where i could read the theory of ghazal writing and it must be in easy going way. Give name of book, author name and publisher so that i can get it easily from the market. Vote according to your choice. Regards.... kordz
Man .. i'm not at all comparin u to Ghalib .. he's way beyon comparision .. but pal i'm tryin to say .. wen u do anythin .. say singin for example .. u should know the techniques, da knowledge of music isn't it ?? similarly if ur writin somethin (which is really appreciated u write well!) namely ghazal .. It has rules which has to be followed .. I don't know any book in particular coz i'm not sure of da authenticity .. but u can search da net at diff places gettin da basics .. Keep up ur good work .. u've really added a new dimension to this forum
Agreed with you!!! I agree with you what u wanna say. Thats what I mean my work cant be compared with maestro like ghalib. As you said you have read many books and you have done R & D into this field, thats why I asked for books. Its ok if you dont know any one. Keep looking for me if you can. It will really help me to go and achieve something. Give ur mail id, if you don't want its ok, so that I can keep a touch apart from this virtual platform. Looking forward for ur valuable suggestion. Regards, kordz
