Musical jokes!

Discussion in 'Funny Emails, Jokes, SMS's, Videos' started by Vader, Nov 13, 2011.

  1. Vader

    Vader New Member

    Three men die and go to heaven and queue to meet God.

    God: Hi, what's your name?

    Paul: My name is Paul.

    God: Hi, Paul. Tell me, when you died, how much were you earning?

    Paul: 15 lakh a year.

    God: Wow! Tell me, Paul, what were you doing to earn that kind of money?

    Paul: I was a lawyer.

    God: That's great. Come on in. God then turned to the second man. Hi, what's your name?

    Roger: My name is Roger.

    God: Hi, Roger. Tell me, when you died, how much were you earning?

    Roger: 9 lakh a year.

    God: Hey, that's great! Tell me, Roger, what did you do for a living?

    Roger: I was an accountant.

    God: That's very good. Come on in. God then turned to the third man. Hi, what's your name?

    Vader: My name is Vader.

    God: Tell me, Vader, how much were you earning when you died?

    Vader: About 30,000

    God: A month?

    Vader: No, a year…


    God: ….what instrument did you play?
    Morbid_Angel likes this.
  2. Vader

    Vader New Member

    What's the definition of a gentleman?
    Someone that can play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
  3. Vader

    Vader New Member

    What do you call someone who hangs out with a bunch of musicians?

    A drummer.
  4. Vader

    Vader New Member

    Guitarist: "Did you hear my last solo?"
    Friend: "I hope so."
  5. Vader

    Vader New Member

    A note left for a man from his wife:

    Gone shopping,(have list), back in a minute

    A note left for a pianist from his wife:

    Gone Chopin, (have Liszt), Bach in a Minuet.
  6. Vader

    Vader New Member

    Q: How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?

    A: Twenty.
    One to change the bulb and nineteen to say,
    "Not bad, but I could've done better".
  7. Vader

    Vader New Member

    Donald MacDonald from Scotland was admitted to Oxford University, and was now living in his first year of residence there. His clan was very excited that one of their own had made it into the upper class of education, but were concerned how he'd do in "that strange land." After the first month, his mother came to visit, with reinforcements of whiskey and oatmeal.
    "And how do you find the English students, Donald?" she asked.
    "Oh, Mother," he replied, shaking his head sadly, "they're such terrible, noisy people: The one on that side keeps banging his head against the wall, and won't stop; and the one on the other side screams and screams and screams away into the night."
    "But Donald! How do you manage with those dreadful noisy English neighbours?"
    "Well, mother, I just ignore 'em. I just stay here quietly, playing my bagpipes..."
  8. Vader

    Vader New Member

    Son: Dad! I need you to sign my test papers I got a A+

    Dad(looking at papers): But ispe toh B- likha hai

    Son: Dad musical theory! Bb is A#!
  9. Vader

    Vader New Member

    How do you get a lead guitarist to stop playing?

    You put sheet music in front of him.
  10. Vader

    Vader New Member

    An anthropologist decides to investigate the natives of a far-flung tropical island.
    He flew there, found a guide with a canoe to take him up the river to the remote site where he would make his collections.
    About noon on the second day of travel up the river they began to hear drums.
    Being a city boy by nature, the anthropologist was disturbed by this.
    He asked the guide, "What are those drums?"
    The guide turned to him and said "Drums OK, but VERY VERY BAD when they stop."

    Then, after some hours, the drums suddenly stopped!
    This hit the anthropologist like a ton of bricks, and he yelled at the guide: "The Drums have stopped, what happens now?"

    The guide crouched down, covered his head with his hands and said, "Bass Solo".
    bjr likes this.
  11. bjr

    bjr Lady of the Evening

    haha, the last 2 were awesome.
  12. alpha1

    alpha1 I BLUES!

    Lead guitarist and drum/bass solo - how very true
  13. Morbid_Angel

    Morbid_Angel Sid the sloth

    nice post, green dots for you!
  14. Vader

    Vader New Member

    felt the same
  15. Vader

    Vader New Member

    Thank You :)
  16. Vader

    Vader New Member

    Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

    A: It doesn't matter - bass players are never in the light anyway.
  17. Vader

    Vader New Member

  18. Vader

    Vader New Member

    Q - What do a cup of coffee and Eric Clapton have in common?

    A - They both suck without Cream
  19. Vader

    Vader New Member

    Q - What's the difference between a guitarist and a mutual fund?

    A - One matures.
  20. Vader

    Vader New Member

    How do you get two guitar players to play in perfect unison?

    Shoot One

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