Man Vs Woman - a never ending Story....

Discussion in 'The ChitChat Lounge' started by bob-bobby, Jul 1, 2004.

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  1. bob-bobby

    bob-bobby Extinct or Banned!

    aaahhhh

    Why do men die before their wives?
    They want to.
     
  2. bob-bobby

    bob-bobby Extinct or Banned!

    Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.

    he ehhe eheh
     
  3. bob-bobby

    bob-bobby Extinct or Banned!

    & more

    Men are vain; they will check themselves out in the mirror.

    Women are ridiculous; they will check out their reflections in any shiny surface--mirrors, spoons, store windows, toasters, Joe Garagiola's head.

    hehehe h
     
  4. bob-bobby

    bob-bobby Extinct or Banned!

    Women like Richard Gere because he is sexy in a dangerous way. Men hate Richard Gere because he reminds them of that slick guy who works at the health club and dates only married women.
     
  5. bob-bobby

    bob-bobby Extinct or Banned!

    Every actress in the history of movies has had to do a nude scene. This is because every movie in the history of movies has been produced by a man. The only actor who has ever appeared nude in the movies is Richard Gere. This is another reason why men hate him.


    hey guys , chill out & have fun...

    lets wait for the gal to respond .......

    cheers ....
     
  6. bob-bobby

    bob-bobby Extinct or Banned!

    hey guys / gals , n joy this....... ( one of my fav )

    "Excuse Me." (male to male)
    (Get the hell out of the way.)

    "Excuse Me." (male to female)
    (I am going to grope you now.) (Editor's Note - one of my personal favorites)

    "Excuse Me." (female to male)
    (Don't even think about groping me, just get the hell out of the way.)

    "Excuse Me." (female to female)
    (Move your fat ass. Who do you think you are anyway? You are not all that, missy, and don't think for one minute that you are. Coming in here dressing like a ho.... $#@^%@%^@#$%$%$% @#$#@$ #$@#$@%$#% $#!%#$% ... Get your eyes off of my man, or I'll slap you, bitch, like the slut you are.)

    cheers
    BOb...
     
  7. guitar_gal

    guitar_gal New Member

    errr, der r a lot more actors who hav dun nude scenes in movies.. like keanu reeves n antonio bendares... watevr...

    n bobby, y duncha post all da 1 liners n witty stuff in 1 single post? its kinda irritatin 2 read so many short posts in quick succession... n its obvious how u r usin dis thread 2 increase yer post count.. oh yea, guyz guyz guyz.. dey think dey r da smartest.. turns out dey r ALWAYS da dumbest.. :p

    PS: I LOVE richard gere :) :)
     
  8. bob-bobby

    bob-bobby Extinct or Banned!

    hey g gal he hehe

    u can be really funny , thats why i says GIRLLLLSSSSSSSSSSSSss.......... eeeik

    they can think the wierdiest thing on this earth , i post the liners in dif dif post cos my dear guys can n joy it & dear gal can get irritated...

    hehe he . hey can you still eat irritating guys...

    whers nat today ? no msg from her....

    nat ?

    cheers
     
  9. Natasia

    Natasia ...

    here's my contibution for today... :) :p :) ...Q: How many men does it take to change a toilet paper roll?

    A: No one knows....they have never tried to do it.


    A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other the woman leans out the window and yells, PIG!!"

    The man immediately leans out his window and replies, "BITCH!!" They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road.

    If only men would listen!

    ...LAWS WOMEN LIVE BY...
    1. Don't imagine you can change a man -- unless he's in diapers.

    2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.

    3. If we put a man on the moon -- we should be able to put them all up there.

    4. Never let your man's mind wander -- it's too little to be out alone.

    5. Go for younger men. You might as well -- they never mature anyway.

    6. Men are all the same -- they just have different faces so that you cantell them apart.

    7. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

    8. Women don't make fools of men -- most of them are the do-it-yourself types.

    9. Best way to get a man to do something: suggest he's too old for it.

    10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

    11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.

    12. The children of Israel wandered in the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.

    13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks.

    14. Remember: a sense of humor does not mean you tell him jokes; it means you laugh at his.


    :beer: :beer:
     
  10. Natasia

    Natasia ...

    ... :) :) :) ....
    Why do little boys whine?
    Because they are practicing to be men.

    Why do men like smart women?
    Opposites attract.

    Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating?
    To stop the snoring before it starts.

    How do men define a "50/50" relationship?
    We cook - they eat; we clean - they dirty ; we iron - they wrinkle.

    How do men exercise on the beach?
    By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.

    How does a man show he's planning for the future?
    He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

    What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women?
    Exchange him.

    What did God say after creating man?
    I can do so much better.

    Why do only l0% of men make it to heaven?
    Because if they all went, it would be Hell.

    What do you call a man with half a brain?
    Gifted.

    What should you give a man who has everything?


    A woman to show him how to work it.

    What's the best way to force a man to do sit ups?
    Put the remote control between his toes.

    What's the difference between Big Foot and an intelligent man?
    Big Foot's been spotted several times.

    Why are dumb blonde jokes one liners?
    So men can understand them.
     
  11. bob-bobby

    bob-bobby Extinct or Banned!

    hey nat , glad to c ur reply ....

    good ones , need this full weekend to gear up my self on monday , so nothing for now but will be back in full force on monday...

    till then u take care of ur self , hey g gal u 2 ...

    guys , chill out , these gal dun know where they are heading to...

    have a nice weekend - all of you.

    cheers
    Bob...
     
  12. bob-bobby

    bob-bobby Extinct or Banned!

    nat ?..............
     
  13. guitar_gal

    guitar_gal New Member

    :) :) 2 gud, nats.. luvd em!!!! :beer:
     
  14. jayanth

    jayanth <.: : Call Quits : :.>

    Whats the only difference between Microsoft and Girls??

    Girls Sell...
     
  15. bob-bobby

    bob-bobby Extinct or Banned!

    nice one jay ...

    Some men look good with mustaches. Those men are Tom Selleck and Burt Reynolds. There are no women who look good with mustaches.

    hehe he
     
  16. bob-bobby

    bob-bobby Extinct or Banned!

    MEN'S ADVICE FOR WOMEN

    Never buy a 'new' brand of beer because 'it was on sale.'
    Whenever possible, please try to say whatever you have to say during commercials.
    Please don't drive when you're not driving.
    Don't feel compelled to tell us how all the people in your little stories are related to one another: We're just nodding, waiting for the punchline.
    When the waiter asks if everything's okay, a simple 'Yes' will do.
    When I'm turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the off-ramp, saying "This is our exit" is not strictly necessary.
    The temperature in the cave will be my responsibility. It will be slightly to moderately cooler than you want it.
    Is it too much to ask to have the bra match the underwear?
    If we see you in the morning and at night, why call us at work?
    You probably don't want to know what we're thinking about.
    Silence does not need to be filled.
    It's in neither your interest nor ours to take the Cosmo quiz together.
    No, you can't have the remote control.
     
  17. jayanth

    jayanth <.: : Call Quits : :.>

    What are the similarities between Girls and Microsoft??

    Ans:
    1. They both want money for nothing..
    2. They Put a lot of make up to cover stuff up
    3. They have absolutely no idea what they are doing(half the time)
    4. They hate change.

    Jay Original...
     
  18. bob-bobby

    bob-bobby Extinct or Banned!

    well said jay

    What are the similarities between Girls and Microsoft??

    both of them bug intelligent men.....

    :beer:
     
  19. jayanth

    jayanth <.: : Call Quits : :.>

    He he .. Microsoft a real inspiration... ha??
     
  20. bob-bobby

    bob-bobby Extinct or Banned!

    hey jay - no responses from the gals today , i think we've won the battle - what do u think....

    okay , since ur so generous with them and many a times you have mentioned that you love womens , i would like to give them one more chance , so if by tomm they dont respond...........................

    we can start another thread.... heheheh
     
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