Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by fairandlovely, Jan 19, 2012.

  1. fairandlovely

    fairandlovely peeka-boo

    helloooo people! I wouldnt expect many of you to remember me but ive come here once or twice before, posted something that ive written and then disappeared off the face of the earth before. Im like that comet that comes around every two years or something.

    So the reason I came back is because I wrote the end to something Id posted here ages ago and of course because i missed you all so much. Id appreciate your comments on what ive written. I will be honest and say that i like it! Anyway without further ado, here goes:


    "TO BED" I said, commandingly,
    Not one more game you'll play!
    "To bed" I said, It's getting late
    The daylight's gone away.

    Lie in bed and whine you may,
    Make cartoons in the window frost.
    Lie and wait, the sandyman
    Is late but never lost.

    When he comes, I’ll be waiting
    No matter what the time
    I’ll beg him to put me in your dreams,
    And also put you in mine

    In our dreams, we’ll meet again
    You’ll be in my arms till dawn.
    We’ll talk of life and love and regrets.
    We’ll pretend I was never gone.

    Just know I’ll live for nights like this,
    When the sandman’s feeling kind.
    While he lets us meet for a fleeting trice,
    I’ll live on in your mind....
  2. horsesmouth

    horsesmouth Active Member

    ahhh, welcome back dude..ofcourse i remember you..
    And this poem as well...
    Its quite good...keep posting...
  3. nandy0894

    nandy0894 New Member

    this is lovely!
  4. fairandlovely

    fairandlovely peeka-boo

    I must say I am a little disappointed because this place looked busier than this lol. thanks for the comments both of you but id love to see people sharing their thoughts about it or say something longer. Does anyone care to interpret what im trying to say?
  5. arniehawk

    arniehawk New Member

    sweet n soothing lines great work thumbs up for u :)
  6. bjr

    bjr Lady of the Evening

    I'll give you 3 interpretations. The general, what I picture when I read it and what I think you pictured when you wrote it.

    It is basically a last goodbye. I don't know which of the two is dying. The sandman stands for whatever is going to separate the two. Maybe it's a metaphor for death? Or maybe someone who will separate them. The child (?) does not know this.

    What I picture when I read this:

    In Berlin, I went to the Jewish Monument which basically tracks the history of the jews in germany during the second world war. As part of the monument, they have original letters written by people to each other...often, they were goodbyes. Mothers writing to their children, telling the eldest one to make sure the others did their homework, husband writing to wife to tell her that people around him were being taken away, desperate pleas to people to keep their family safe when they were gone. This fits in with one of them. I can imagine a mother having written this knowing the Gestapo were coming to take her away....and spending her last few minutes with her child.

    What I think you picture when you wrote this:

    Harry Potter
  7. as i said on the incomplete one .. awesome !!
  8. fairandlovely

    fairandlovely peeka-boo

    @monica: thank you :)

    @arnie: they werent really meant to be soothing but thanks anyway

    @bjr: I am not going to rise to the harry potter crack but it was funny :) Your 1st interpretation is quite correct and I like your 2nd interpretation better than what I had thought of when I was writing it. If someone ever asks me for the story behind it, I will put yours forward. Thank you so much for taking the time to put that much thought into what someone else has written. Maybe I'll share my thoughts on it once nobody else has anything more to say so not much later :D
  9. bjr

    bjr Lady of the Evening

Share This Page