Lost faith

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by maverick8218, Jan 28, 2005.

  1. maverick8218

    maverick8218 New Member

    One of my early poems...
    Lost Faith

    I have lost my faith,
    spewing hatred outta every breath,
    a crusader for a cause,
    murdering everyone who’s not one of us.

    Kill the man, rape the woman,
    don’t spare anyone.
    Maybe I’ll repent later,
    contemplating this senseless massacre.

    I have lost my faith,
    spewing hatred outta every breath,
    My mind is not my own,
    compassion to me is so unknown.

    We wanted to create heaven,
    but we created hell instead,
    Houses and pyres burning,
    oh, what price have I paid ?

    There, I saw a child in the ruins,
    the blood on its face washed by tears.
    I couldn’t help but try,
    I knew I’d break down and cry.

    Mercy! Mercy! Mercy!
    screamed the child’s eyes.
    The only thing I had to do,
    the only thing I could do
    was turn back and go home.
  2. tejas

    tejas ..........

    Have you posted this before? I dunno, but it seems vaguely familiar. Anyway, nice work. But the ending was kinda a let down. Im talking bout the very last line. It conveys the meaning alright, but u could make it more poetic, cause that seems blunt. Anyway, thats just my 2 cents.
  3. Sanjay Mazumder

    Sanjay Mazumder ~..::MASTERMIND::..~

    Well done.

    Yeah, I agree 2 U. Now the animals or the beasts are better than us.
  4. jayswami

    jayswami Blue J

    your poem is like the discography of the band metallica..
  5. Sonali

    Sonali ::>> Welcome <<::

    it's nice, i liked it.....good job
  6. maverick8218

    maverick8218 New Member

    Tejas, I think I had posted it b4 in the poetic thoughts thread... Yeah the last line is a bit blunt but I felt that it pretty much reflected the mindset of the narrator. Yeah jay, its very much a metallica kinda thing, in fact more like megadeth, i think. thnx sanjay and sonali, glad that u guys liked it...
  7. drunken_wisdom

    drunken_wisdom WiSeCrAcKeR

    hey good one...but i have to agree with tejas bout the last line...

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