Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by Sharmontime, Mar 2, 2006.

  1. Sharmontime

    Sharmontime New Member

    Hi to all.
    Sorry for not being here for long..exams...(still goin on...)
    Jus wrote this piece, so thought i would share wid you all...comments and suggestions most welcome.

    It has not been really good
    Till now for what I was,
    What I am.
    Dont know, what it'll be
    'Cos dont know what I'll be.
    Why I am still alive?
    Seldom any answers to survive.
    Why I shouldn't die?
    Ironically, no reason to lie.

    All I have done, and doing,
    Trying to please others
    And myself, remembering,
    The reasons I've to survive.
    But what I always wanted
    Never came without a cost
    The cost now is my life lost.

    This has been so uncool,
    Everybody called me a fool
    For what I am, what I did,
    For them, they know as well
    still they take me for granted.
    But my feeling of wanted,
    Is what makes me live.

    Fear of responsibilities
    Of mine being unlived by me
    Run through my veins when
    The thought of death approaches,
    Making me dead for a moment.
    Then it all gets over, purified
    By my heart, pumping out
    Oodles of fresh confidence.
    And this is when i write this.

    I learn the nuances of life,
    Everytime from the beginning.
    Living is not difficult, making
    A living too is not difficult, but
    Living with truth of life is, as
    I understand.


    Sharmontime :cool: [TM]
    nimisha and Varshita like this.
  2. Varshita

    Varshita New Member

    Nice one !!... though in between.. u got a little...nevermind !!
    A good attempt :)
    Keep it up
  3. Sharmontime

    Sharmontime New Member blessed to get first reply from one of the much acclaimed poetess over here...
    btw i wanna know where that "in between" what is that " i got a little" so that I can improve upon such aspects....

    and was it shaky?? not making any sense?

    pls do tell...thanks..

    and others out there...pls do tell how's this....written such a poem after a long time...thanks in advance!!!
    Garima likes this.
  4. madhuresh

    madhuresh madhuresh

    good pharases formed.....nothing else
    shuld say sm thing abt life..:) ....i feel this world is like a streached string ....nothng chages too much ...just some times u go a bit tensed and pulled on one sied, but gradually again come my style is hit hard ...hit harder....and when ever their's a challange ask ur self "kunn DArr Gaya Kyaa HERO" :-D.....try it in a game or fight it really works....
  5. BubblyMartini

    BubblyMartini !!!HAWM

    Nice poem Sharmontime
    when a person reflects on life a lot surfaces
    and a lot stays put at the bottom....
    i liked what has surfaced:)
  6. Broken_heart

    Broken_heart New Member

    Great attempt..must say...but did get slightly shaky sumwhr but never mind u got the flow of it again its making sense:)..Keep writing ul mk it good!
  7. Garima

    Garima Born to rule <img src="images/smilies/rule.gif" bo

    A very fair attemp...but like Varshita..evn i thnk there was somethng missing...
    but m sure with more & more poems u post out here.... that somethng wont b missing :grin:

    Keep writing...:beer:

    Forgot to add....the theme that u wrote on was very nice....Life & its confusions..m still struggling with them...& will always be (i kno for sure) :eek::
  8. Sharmontime

    Sharmontime New Member

    @madhuresh bhaiyya..

    ...this poem mght look like some good phrases formed...WOW!! thanks...actually this is what i am experiencing rhgt now.
    Now as far as your "hit hard..hit harder" style...i am to implement it.Seriously. shall now on ...i gonna work harder...:cool:

    @Martina...thanks a lot...i too was happy for what i very happy.:)

    @brkn_hrt ...thanks friend..with apprecitation and encouragement, i shall surely improve...:)

    @Garima...thanks for your belief in me... i shall for sure surface with better ones....and for thanks again for your appreciation of the be frank, this is my current phase of life ...
    and i understand the confusions in ones life are due to misconceptions, misperceptions and misunderstandings...thou all mean the same...there are situations whr each one comes to force....
    and this life is all spent in tryin to understand ones life and make out what it is...blah blah...

    @all thanks a i m seriously living. :):beer:
  9. madhuresh

    madhuresh madhuresh

    hey i tell u man an incident ...they keep on happning to of my friend ws cought alone by some boys he had rivalry with, he called us but it took 4-5 minutes for us to reach ...and if u dont know if 4 buys beat u for 3 minutes u will hve ur bones cracked (proven fact)....utimatly those ppl ran away and i asked this guy ..."thappa abee BHAGA koon nahi yaar, bahut mara hai saaloon ne"
    he replyed :- "koi gum nahi ! chahee maine ek hi mara ho but now they know who thappa is ! , they fight for anger and i won my respect"

    so what ever ppl say when u will come out of this, belive me u will feel this respect 4 ur own self....;)
  10. BubblyMartini

    BubblyMartini !!!HAWM

    seldom does someone get to hear things like these
    actually seldom does anyone actually Say these kinda things

    Happy that your Happy!
    as dear friend zoom always says "Keep Smiling!";)
  11. madhuresh

    madhuresh madhuresh

    "seldom".... to pata nahi .....but reality is definatly stranger than fiction..HAHAHA...
  12. BubblyMartini

    BubblyMartini !!!HAWM

    ^true...but most of the time people like to blend them together;)

    btw my post was meant for Sharmontime..didnt see your post..
  13. madhuresh

    madhuresh madhuresh

    ohh...mistake huaa......ek aur yaaad aya 1 of my friend we sue to call him macchar(mosquito his height was 5 10' and weight 45 kg) he loved a girl from 1st year and in 4th year( u now those mechancial branch vale dumbo kinda) he decided to tell the girl ...we all laughed and supported him...the girl was real babe ..he asked will "u love me"
    Girl: tum main aisa hai hi kyaa jise pyaar kiya ja sake ?????
    when we asked phir kyaa huaa to bola "bas phir main sooche lag gaya mujh main aisa hai hi kyaa jise pyaar kiyaa ja sake"......Funny na....but...
    even i dont have an answer to this for myself ...i think theirs no answer to it ...haha
  14. rockstar_dude

    rockstar_dude New Member

    Gud job!!

    Man...Very well written....We r both sailing in the same boat...
  15. Sharmontime

    Sharmontime New Member

    thanks got it right ;) ...I tried replying to you but ur inbox was full...guess what?.... my ID.. :) felt good.

    Madhuresh bhaiyaa
    so many real life incidents...learnt a lot...u are a gift from IGT... :nw:

    rockstar_dude....welcome aboard:cool: ;) :p:
  16. d_ist_urb_ed

    d_ist_urb_ed Genuflect b*tches!

    I wonder why i missed, i liked the poem, i frowned at "uncool", but whatever i guess, your writing blends into this poem, nice job....the ending was a bit of a downer for me, it was a bit shrouded in ambiguity, or maybe it's just me......
  17. rockstar_dude

    rockstar_dude New Member


    Thnx man... Keep in touch...:p
  18. BubblyMartini

    BubblyMartini !!!HAWM

    One of those times when i knew that i was right;)
    and sorry about the inbox..i was away for a few days then
  19. nimisha

    nimisha .:Forum Leader:.

    nice poem.... but it lacks a continuity of thoughts inbetween... just edit some part... good job..
  20. Sharmontime

    Sharmontime New Member

    thanks a lot for liking the poem....yeah..ending was not that easy and smooth..this is the place i think i fumbled upon....shall tacare hereafter of such bugs..

    rockstar_dude i shall keep in touch in the same here poems and make you all appreciate :) ;)

    thanks bubbly for replying can call me Sharma here after... :beer:

    Nimisha...the new FL has replied woah!!!
    shall surely work upon the poem , sooner or later....and bring to ur notice.
    thanks a lot, and thanks in advance.
    :beer: :beer: CONGRATS ON BECOMING THE FORUM LEADER:dance: :dance:

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