Just joined,time to post some lyric/poem-thingy's...

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by Nirvanafreak, Jan 30, 2005.

  1. Nirvanafreak

    Nirvanafreak Official Freak

    This one's called tears of blood...

    Tears of blood falling on the ground,
    Strolling down the highway,not a sound...

    Legs are tired,heart is broken,
    Words of love and hate are spoken,
    The words seem familiar,but mean nothing to me,
    I only think of the open plains I see,
    There’s nothing left but a few burning trees,
    Nobody approaches me,everybody flees...

    Tears of blood falling on the ground,
    Strolling down the highway,not a sound...

    Sometimes I wish to be consumed by shadows,
    But I feel disencouraged while looking at the never-ending meadows,
    People are watching me,but they don’t say a thing,
    Only few understand the words I sing,
    Nobody needs me,so there’s no turning back,
    All the beauty has now turned black,
    My only comfort is the voice in my head,
    Every step I take brings me closer to death...

    Tears of blood falling on the ground,
    Strolling down the highway,not a sound...
     
  2. Rey1970

    Rey1970 New Member

    I love it...are those your true feelings? I was wondering.
     
  3. maverick8218

    maverick8218 New Member

    Somethin' diffrent from the stuff usually posted out here...
     
  4. Nirvanafreak

    Nirvanafreak Official Freak

    it's my true feelings,but I expressed it in my own way...
     
  5. Nirvanafreak

    Nirvanafreak Official Freak

    wow...it's a shame this poem does't have that many feedback :p:
     
  6. varmas11

    varmas11 New Member

    good poem, well written

    i feel like the expression factor is great and the connection is good but if you could add a few really strong analogies or metaphors in there, it would add a lot to the poem... like when you say meadow or plain... the feeling is there... but like maybe you could incorporate like the plain of empty thoughts and dreams or like the meadow of long lost innocence... shiznit like that might help... i mean i'm not a real poet or pro but i feel like these strong bridges are the clearest way to express and hence inspire...

    great poem though.. your poems or songs are raw and have power,

    i like that


    regards,
    sv
     
  7. Subhro

    Subhro Argentina lost :"(

    goooood stuff nirvana !!

    and good tip varmas..
     
  8. Nirvanafreak

    Nirvanafreak Official Freak

    hey there,thanks a lot for your tip varmas ;) this was one of my first poems,I'll try to edit it a little bit and all that...
     
  9. varmas11

    varmas11 New Member

    yo check out some of mine yo

    peace
     
  10. bob-bobby

    bob-bobby Extinct or Banned!

    nice one , niravana freak ...
     
  11. rockin'away

    rockin'away Banned

    great poem as always mate:)
     

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