Hi guys...was doin some maths today,and was so bored,i wrote this...thats why its long... : Its better in Hell.... Hell doors open Calling me in Glad i was But asked a min. Hear my plea Have something to tell Be patient Dont ring the bell From the day When i was born Everyone kicks Everyone scrons Devils all No clone Millions them Me alone Mornings static Nights dead Get up,survive Go to bed Was a zombie Body,no soul Aimless arrow Velocity,no goal Crying heart Bleeding eyes Truth - NO Only lies Blades in hands Blood on floor Neck in rope Thoughts no more Then she came Dint like it She stopped me Dint fight it Held my hand Wiped a tear Smiled, Called me "dear" Fought for me Drew them away Why? Love,she'd say Alien feeling But was great Something for me Besides hate She taught I learnt Love grew Hate burnt She's my world Used to think Loved her Breath and blink But one day I opened the door She said "i love you no more"...........** So hear my plea Have something to tell I think Its better in Hell. **now i was bored of the poem...so just ended : (would continue after another maths session ) Thank you for goin thru this :nw:
all i can say is... ur poem is like ur avtaar... sho shweet.... i wonder if ur maths session wud have continued.. n we cud see happy ending....
^^thanks, but as you can see from the poem's title...there cannot be an happy ending to this poem....:
well.. i think it is indeed a happy ending... coz u r saying its better in hell... so someway or other u r feeling better.. thats a better ending....lol... next time try starting wit heaven....
VERY nice poem...... really liked it..... the best part is its not like SENTENCES, just some SHORT words which contain meaning widin themselves.... VERY NICELY DONE........ GOOD WORK MAN! keep it up!
@uj_6string.....thanks... @hira...nice to see ur reply...thanks a lot...atleast you got the main attraction of the poem...thank you very much...
Well Dude... :rock: I love the whole damn thing! and I cant be more blunt then that. LOL. Its so to the point and frank...its amazing. And what really tickled me was the fact that you added that little twist at the end... "So hear my plea Have something to tell I think Its better in Hell" Pretty darn good! ~*~
^^the best reply so far....thanks a lot Petunia... and since you liked the twist at the end(which wasnt my intention when i wrote it),I will leave it as it is...
AWESOME!! i took a sort of break and when i'm back, what do i see?? an amazing poem! loved it ha.. u dont need lessons from me man, u already got it in ya! :beer: P.S. cant give reps
^^ah! finally....was waiting for your reply from so long......where had you been?.. you think its Awesome?..wow...gr8..thanks a lot cryptic... :dance: :rule: you see,it was your poems that inspired me to write,and now this boosts my confidence...now i am going to try and write one more... :beer: and dont worry about the reps....its your reply that matters....Thank you!!
