Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by walk_alone, Apr 1, 2006.

  1. walk_alone

    walk_alone **~~| An Atheist |~~**


    it teaches you to cry,
    it teaches you to smile;
    it teaches you to feel,
    it teaches you to heal.

    you learn all life long,
    only to depart;
    with nothing,
    not even your memories on.

    freed from your misery,
    away from you grief;
    u see yourself,
    smiling cunningly,
    mocking at "it".

    it was "it",
    who was "the reason";
    of all your pain and distress,
    and now you leave "it",
    defeated and disappointed.

    you close your eyes,
    and fly away;
    with an angel of death,
    leading your way.

    yes it was you "life",
    I dreamt abt you last night.

    another unedited peom from me.

    Do post your valuable comments and suggestions.
    BIG_EVIL and Hardik like this.
  2. madhuresh

    madhuresh madhuresh

  3. walk_alone

    walk_alone **~~| An Atheist |~~**

    thxs madhuresh....u r the man

  4. #iR@


    @ pamposh... kya kahoon yaar... another awesome poem from u! :beer: keep riting man! :rock:
  5. Hardik

    Hardik .:.:.:BoRn TaLenT:.:.:.

    i liked the last two lines....they make ur poem beautiful...reps :)
  6. walk_alone

    walk_alone **~~| An Atheist |~~**

    thxs Hira.....i appreciate u for reading it.

    hardik bhai aapka bahut bahut dhanyavad.
  7. Sharmontime

    Sharmontime New Member

    very good!
    one suggestion though replace the second person "You" with "one" except for the last two lines.
  8. walk_alone

    walk_alone **~~| An Atheist |~~**

    thxs sharmontime...gud suggestion.
    Garima likes this.
  9. Garima

    Garima Born to rule <img src="images/smilies/rule.gif" bo

    Awesome is the word,,,,here ppl write bout death....good that u wrote bout 'Life'....reps if possible.
  10. walk_alone

    walk_alone **~~| An Atheist |~~**

    Yes Garima.....smtimes we get too busy with our troubles that we lose track of our lives................thxs for reading.
  11. BubblyMartini

    BubblyMartini !!!HAWM

    "it" matter's
    come what may..it does

    i like the theme
    nice flow and jus the right length..

    what i perceive
    coincidently "life" or "it" can be replaced with a person aswell
    in the poem instead of "you" it can also be "i"..and still make sense!

    it's good..
  12. BIG_EVIL

    BIG_EVIL Guitaring Machine

    very nice dude..reps
  13. walk_alone

    walk_alone **~~| An Atheist |~~**

    Well said Bubbly i guess u get it what i wanted to convey...............
    hey big_evil thxs dude.
  14. nimisha

    nimisha .:Forum Leader:.

    pamposh... thats a very beautiful poem...
  15. walk_alone

    walk_alone **~~| An Atheist |~~**

    thxs Nimisha..............i was waiting for a word or two from FL

  16. Seher

    Seher New Member

    Hey Pampy.. U r just awesome..!!
  17. CrYpTiC_angel

    CrYpTiC_angel Rebelle!

    I wish u hadnt put the word 'it' in quotes.

    Made me wanna take off my slipper and squash smthng to death coz it sounded like ur referring to an insect.

    Nice poem though!
  18. Hell'n Wheels

    Hell'n Wheels New Member

    I really enjoyed your poem. I got a silly question for you though, and I'm being sincere so, please don't think I 'm trying to be a smart a** but , How come an atheist writes of "the angel of death"? Every body keeps telling me I write to "personally" in my stuff..... Dude you must be the KING of stepping out of yourself! LOL Kudos 2 U man! Hell'n

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