Inner Mental Dirge

I try to sleep
There's just so much in my head
So much to think about
But nothing to dread

I close my eyes
All I see is a leather belt
And broken bottles
And feel the pain I once felt

I see how I was despised
And was always alone
Always quiet
And under everyone's control

Now control me, heh
You'll never even guess
What I'm capable of
I'll never confess

I will never get caught
Such is my power
Maybe tomorrow you'll be the stranger
Over whose body, I'll tower

I wake up in the morn
With a lot on my mind
Blood and gore
And all the bodies I left behind

The clock ticks away
As I meticulously plan
The next magnificent murder
I'll commit with these hands.

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The title was suggested by shsnawada (thnx!)

 

I like the last lines a lot (well the others too, but the last lines were better). Very nice work....

ps: Ask me for titles or whatever anytime :beer: If that means reading your stuff beforehand

 

wow.... nice one.. it contains a lot of strong emotions

 

its like the word used in it... magnificent!!

 

another one...hmm... how i like to read ur poems...damn my pc..i cant copy paste this thin ...will try later.....cryptu..the invi murderer ..( hollow woman ).....give up engineerin yaar...nathin in it...u r awesome in these works.............

 

:nw::nw:.........i am out of words now....:nw:

 

@shs.. i jst love the title, thnx again!

@hira.. thnx! keep rockin gurl!

@nimisha.. thnx a lot!

@abhi.. thnx dont 4get to add this one to the collection!

@hardik.. ur lack of words says it all thnx!

 

@ cryp : Hehe, ur a wannabie super-woman or sumthin?, n yeah, Cryptic,... u into BDSM?

 

so u got exp of BDSM|!!!!!!!!!!!! : : : : : :


neways nice poem................way to go angel..........any poems on ramms?

 

Nah,.. juzz wonderinm,.... after i read the 1st 2 para's, i was sure this is abt BDSM. But alas, it ended as wat i said above "wannabie super-woman" :


Note: cryp, no personal shi.t man, juzz wat i tht.

 

now dont u say that mr. akki u know angel cant be a bondage labaror :

 

get some work, no need to bother over others comments here, that was just genral stuff,...........

 

@cryptu .. cool stuff .. Great use of da pen i must say

 

@akkyy

err... "superwoman"?? how did u arrive at that... most of my poems used to be an exaggeration of what i'm goin thru but not this one.. it's frm some1 else's point of view

@ramstein

thnx... nope, no poems on ramms.

@notty

thnx!!

 

cryptic_angel + BDSM = *drool + slurp*


poem is OK.

 

Good attempt. More like a metal song as the sudden breaks in rhythm (short lines, long lines) can be used as dynamics like growls and screams... As a poem, I would have rather you not mentioned "murder" and "bodies" as it would have brought in an element of mystery and openness. But thats what I would have done.

 

good approch....

 

good to c good poems aftr a good holiday for good four days:grin: dont worry about too much usage of good....cos the poem is indeed good....as usual

 

@every1

thnx!

@essi

yeah i know what u mean....... thnx

@alpha1

:shock: