india pakistan nuclear war

Discussion in 'The ChitChat Lounge' started by jamhead, Nov 29, 2005.

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  1. jamhead

    jamhead Unknown Legend

    INDO-PAK Nuke War

    Between 61's and 80's, the cold war between US and USSR was such that if USA launched a Nuke-loaded missile, USSR's satellites were capable of informing USSR
    army in 3 seconds, and in less than 45 seconds USSR would also launch its counter-missile. US knew that, and therefore, never attempted to launch one.

    Recent studies commissioned by US DOD included one likely scenario on a nuclear war between India and Pakistan. INDO-PAK WAR...

    Pak army decides to launch a Nuke-missile towards India... They don't need any permission from their government, and promptly launch the missile.Indian
    technology is highly advanced. In less than 8 seconds, Indian army detects it and decides to launch a missile in retribution. But they need permission from The Government of India. They submit their request to the Indian President.

    The President forwards it to the Cabinet. The Prime Minister calls an emergency Lok Sabha (i.e., LS) session. After three days, when the LS meets, due to several walkouts and severe protest by the opposition, it gets adjourned indefinitely.
    The President asks for a quick decision. In the meantime, the Pak missile failed to take off due to unknown reasons. Their attempts for a relaunch are still on.meanwhile, the Indian ruling party is reduced to minority because a party,giving outside support, withdraws support.
    Therefore, its first task is now to get majority.

    The President asks the PM to prove majority within a week. Meanwhile, an external affairs spokesman requests Pak for some bilateral talks, at the secretary and minister levels. Next week, as the ruling party was not able to get confidence vote, a caretaker government is installed. The acting PM decides to permit the armed forces to launch the Nuclear Missile. But the Election Commission says that a caretaker government cannot take such a decision because elections are at hand and this decision might affect the swing of votes in the election.

    A PIL (Public Interest Litigation) is filed in the Supreme Court of India, alleging misuse of power by the Election commission. The Supreme Court comes to the rescue of the PM, and says the acting PM is authorized to take this decision, in the interests of the nation.

    In between, one of the Pak missiles successfully took off, but it fell 367 miles away from the target on a government building at 11:00 AM. But there were no casualties since no employee had reached the office by then. In any case, the nuclear core of missile had detached some where in flight.Pakistan army is now
    trying to get better technologies from China and USA. US condemns the use of a nuclear missile by Pakistan, and offers to send its seventh fleet in Indian Ocean. The Indian government, wary of the move, declines. The Indian government finally
    decides to launch a nuclear missile, after convening an all party meeting. This time all the parties agree.

    It's three months since the army had sought permission. But this time, some "pro-humanity", "anti-nuclear" activists come on road against the government's decision. Human chains are being made in CA, LA and Washington for peace. Many E-mails are sent to Indians condemning the government and mentioning "Please
    forward it to as many Indians as possible."

    On the Pakistan side, the missiles keep failing. Some time they fail to take-off, some time the payload gets detached from the missile during flight. Some missiles deviate from target due to technical failures or high-speed wind blowing over Rajasthan, these missiles are neutralized by Pak itself, as these missiles are now moving backwards towards Karachi.

    A missile (smuggled from USA) is used. Since Pakistan army is unable to understand its software, it hits its original destination: Russia. Russians successfully intercept the missile and in retaliation, launch a nuclear missile towards

    Islamabad. (Note: Russianmissiles never fail.)
    The missile hits the target and creates havoc. Pakistan cries for help. It asks for loans from the IMF and the World Bank.
    India expresses deep regrets for what had happened and sends in a million dollar worth of soaps.

    So in the end, India never got to launch the missile. Pak never got it right and got themselves screwed. Indian Diplomacy at its best!
    Conclusion reached by the DOD: Kashmir is now no longer a dangerous
    flashpoint, and they turn their attention towards
    Osama Bin Laden!
    And they lived happily ever after.
  2. What about the bribery

    You failed to mention the back handers that would take place left right and centre
    on both sides
  3. shsnawada

    shsnawada Cyborgs & Pasta

    Doesnt pakistan have similar problems?
  4. m_waleed86

    m_waleed86 KhaMosh GhuStAk biased post from someone who's got 'FLYING COFFINS'
  5. Biased

    I think you failed to read my comment in full.

    I said both sides
  6. Nanda

    Nanda Bassist

    Wht ever ... we think .. the paki are not duds the way we spk of them ...
    The % of duds are a lot out there ...
    But the brains ... (whic are in small number)...... Are good enough to make up for the rest ...
    Coz i know well educated pakis are real intelligent ....
    And if a hacking competition is to be held .. their team can rape indians for sure!
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