Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by nandy0894, Mar 2, 2011.

  1. nandy0894

    nandy0894 New Member

    oh i am incoherant with rage and grief
    well to admit...i am kind of glad that this encounter was brief
    damn..when i think about all u said..all you did
    why din i realize that for you..i was just another kid
    just thinking about what went wrong
    just thinking why did it took so ..oh so long
    everything was so damn perfect
    was it she...or was it you..or was it me..that proved to be a defect..?
    make it..move it...break it..
    oh did you fake it..?
    what made me think that you were amazing
    why was i so blind ..dude you dunno how much about you i was raving..
    i loved you with all that i had
    but dunno what made you do it...tell me.. was i so bad..?
    some abuse you...some console me..some tell me you were just another playboy
    some say you used me just as some toy
    you know what..i refuse to believe them all
    i was a stone ..dunno how you penetrated through that wall...
    oh forget it ..its all so over
    lemme now go and run for some cover..
    i screamed ..i shouted ..i cried..i stammered
    dude you left me all shattered
    you cant be loving two freaking people
    don't play with heart and its damn emotions ..boy they are so feeble..
    dunno what makes you behave as some magnet..agreed it was my folly i was attached and attracted
    how stupid i was ..i felt as much as were committed..
    dunno if i wanna blame me or i wanna blame u
    dunno why d hell am i even caring to remember...we're through
    shit...!! i loved you..and will do so forever
    no matter for you i was just a bloody chewing gum..chewed in and spit out..oh yeah..
    damn me .. i still have hope
    i wanna get you out of my mind....get me some dope..
    u did say u were never away.. maybe even now you would say that you'd never be apart
    i just wanna stare you in those cold eyes and shout out..don't you dare to f*** with a true heart...
  2. horsesmouth

    horsesmouth Active Member

    its nice...specially the use of hurt and rage, intertwined. Makes me lose faith in love even further. I've learnt not to believe in a bi-directional love. There's nothing like that, never can be...
    Like these lines...keep posting...
  3. nandy0894

    nandy0894 New Member

    well..i can't detangle myself from d idea of ...umm..forget it..thnx a lot..
  4. crazyexpress

    crazyexpress New Member

    Nice..although, next time with the rhymes, try to focus it in a flow. The poem doesnt flow with rhyme AND irregular sentences. Try to build a rhythm in mind..
    But anyway.. nice work. :)
  5. nandy0894

    nandy0894 New Member

    thnk u..ill tk care d nest time.. :)
  6. ErmilK

    ErmilK New Member

    Ñìåðòü çà ïîðîãîì. Ñìåðòü íà íîñó. Ñìåðòü íà ïÿäåíü.
  7. nandy0894

    nandy0894 New Member

    ummm....i din get dat.... what language is dat??

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