-Ikraar- The Confession

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by BubblyMartini, Mar 4, 2006.

  1. BubblyMartini

    BubblyMartini !!!HAWM

    -Ikraar- The Confession

    Kehte hai kal shaam kuch alag hogi
    Kal tanhai saath na hogi
    Kal se hum door chalte chalte
    Kal ke paas aa gaye
    Na samajh paye hum
    Kab zindagi bita di humne kal-aaj uar kal main
    Na samajh paye hum
    Kab ruksat kar diya dil ko ik khwabon ke mele main

    Lafzon ke jaal main
    Hum khud ko bunte chale gaye.
    Ik dhaaga toota
    Hum phir use jodte chale gaye

    Tumse door tumhare paas
    Ik alag zindagi jeete hai
    Humse door phirbhi humare paas
    Aapka ik alag ehsaas chate hai

    Na kahege hum
    Pyar na-kaam raha humara
    Na kahege hum
    Pyar adhoora raha humara
    Labon se na kahege
    Nazaren bhi chura lege
    Lekin darte hai hum
    Kahi ye dil hi na daga de-de

    Soch rahe the hum
    Nagmon ke bahane hum apne pyar ko yaad kar le.
    Katra-e-khoon samete hum phir fariyaad kar le.
    Lekin lamhon main zindagi guzar gayi
    Moti ki tarah woh bhi bikhar gayi
    aahe bharte jab hum ek pal aankhen muund bhi lete hai
    Saath tumhara paakar ik zindagi aur jee lete hai.

    ---,-'-<@


    When you read..
    like it or hate it
    Jus be honest and Comment!
    that also includes suggestions and corrections...

    Thanks!

    Edit:missed out a word
     
  2. metal_fan69

    metal_fan69 To Live Is To Die

    hmm...

    I feel like it is not complete yet...

    did you just cut it off ( I mean the last lines?)

    but good effort
     
  3. BubblyMartini

    BubblyMartini !!!HAWM

    Hey dude...now that you say that i'm doubtful too:eek::
    reading it over and over again i dont think i could have thought of a better ending

    but anywys i dont think i'd write something to add up to that..
    jus in case i do...i'l include it aswell...

    Thanks for reading it and thanks a lot for your comments!..:)
    i like when people read and give me their views too...
     
  4. abhimanjrekar

    abhimanjrekar ----&gt; Zhol-Man&lt;----

    I Like It..........** Stops **
     
  5. BubblyMartini

    BubblyMartini !!!HAWM

    *thinking why did u stop*
    that also makes me think if you really like it..

    thanks anwys dude!:)
     
  6. faraz khan

    faraz khan Fkay'zzz .......GoNe MaD!

    well to me its good but you shifted to the last stage abruptly...
     
  7. BubblyMartini

    BubblyMartini !!!HAWM

    oh ok..well i guess i need to do some corrections now...:eek::
    .
    .
    Thanks faraz!:)
     
  8. Varshita

    Varshita New Member

    Its beautiful... Only that somethings amiss between the second last and last para. :eek::
    Maybe i m wrong.. but as a reader i felt that.
    But apart from that its amazing !!... very well written !! :)
    I havent read many of your poems.. but i liked this one...and would like to ask u a question which i m always posed with. Are the poems written by you.. a reflection of your life? your feelings? or your past or present scenario?

    Just curious :eek::
     
  9. d_ist_urb_ed

    d_ist_urb_ed Genuflect b*tches!

    ^Curious george :p: You
     
  10. Varshita

    Varshita New Member

    ^^ I thought its always good to be curious :eek::
    I ve been taught that you should never curb your curiosity... even if starts to bug others :)
     
  11. madhuresh

    madhuresh madhuresh

    Lafzon ke jaal main
    Hum khud ko bunte chale gaye.
    Ik dhaaga toota
    Hum phir use jodte chale gaye

    nice one ;)
     
  12. BubblyMartini

    BubblyMartini !!!HAWM

    Well Varshu-..I'm an emotional weirdo..:p:
    about my poems
    "Untimely Life" was gonna be my last poem..
    but this was something i wrote after that..so had to post it

    "Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, is entirely coincidental"
    aur Zindagi Ittefaq hai;)

    soon there'l be an end to all this..

    anwys...i shouldnt be making my thread boring:eek::

    like the others said i do agree the last two para's are a bit abrupt..
    but i am not sure if i could write anythin on the same lines
    maybe i'd make it up by improving in my other poems

    Thanks dear:)
     
  13. d_ist_urb_ed

    d_ist_urb_ed Genuflect b*tches!

    I need to talk to you on PM's, please come online.
     
  14. walk_alone

    walk_alone **~~| An Atheist |~~**

    nice poem but somehow i feel every para has something missing but lemme tell u even it has its own charm.
     
  15. abhimanjrekar

    abhimanjrekar ----&gt; Zhol-Man&lt;----


    oye bubbly, i stopped so tht u could think y i stopped....:p: :p: but leave the thought coz i liked ur poem....:beer:
     
  16. vishwa_reborn

    vishwa_reborn New Member

    Bubbly.. awesome..
     
  17. Broken_heart

    Broken_heart New Member

    Nice effort!:)
     
  18. BubblyMartini

    BubblyMartini !!!HAWM

    Thanks everyone!
    your comments mean a lot!:)

    @Disturbed- dont bother thinking what i meant by that..
     

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