Saw Distu's thread in the morning....that 'challange' helped me to overcome the Writer's block that I have been going through for quite some time...So...Thank You Distu...:grin: This is what I could come up with...in around 15minutes...so might not be as great as many of you might have expected...but I'm glad to be the first one to reply :dance: :grin: If you come today, it's too early If you come tomorrow, it's too late I long for that touch The warmth that you give me I know I have to wait till eternity for that This sure I'm ...about my fate If you come today, it's too early If you come tomorrow, it's too late The distance is immeasurable The time is flying away Destiny will make me see you soon I'm eagerly waiting ...for that date If you come today, it's too early If you come tomorrow, it's too late Time has played a villain again The familiar smile seems missing I never dreamt of meeting you like this Now I know, it's more ...that I have to wait If you come today, it's too early If you come tomorrow, it's too late Time never stops It's going on...making me surer of me I knew that the distance & the wait would be endless Being sure of my Lord this much ...is something I hate & yeah....all you need to write is a thought...& a will to write on that thought...usually it comes from with in...but its not that tough to write something which popped up in somebody elses mind...you can always direct your thoughts ^^^itna bhashan isliye cos I quite Loved it after writing it...for some reasons :grin: :rock: ************************************ *********************************************************** It depicts the conflict between the heart & mind of a girl who is at the initial stage of liking someone.....someone who was there in her life, whom she could get it touch with at anytime....and now as the distance is too much she has started realizing something.....they say that it's the absence of someone/something in your life which makes you realize their worth in your life.... If you come today, it's too early As it's the initial stage if he comes right now it might be too early as she needs to prepare herself to face him with the 'feeling' that they never shared before If you come tomorrow, it's too late But as she knows that she is falling for him....tomorrow seems too late..... I long for that touch The warmth that you give me I know I have to wait till eternity for that This sure I'm ....about my fate They were together in the past as 'friends'.... But now she wishes for something more.... as she is sure of her fate she know that that wish will always remain 'a wish'... The distance is immeasurable The time is flying away Destiny will make me see you soon I'm eagerly waiting ....for that date When u Love someone...distance is DISTANCE.... cms,mtrs,miles doesn....matter....it is what it is....he would be coming back soon...they are destined to meet again for a very short span of time & she is eagerly waiting for that day to come.....as that's when she would be with him for the first time after she got to know what she actually feels for him.... Time has played a villain again The familiar smile seems missing I never dreamt of meeting you like this Now I know, it's more ...that I have to wait And now when the day has come.... she sees a change in him....he is not even the same friend that she thought she knew...you can't fake your smile.. it says everything & his smile is not the same....though she knew her fate ...but she never thought of losing a friend in search of a sweetheart...so now she know that the wait is even more longer.... Time never stops It's going on....making me surer of me I knew that the distance & the wait would be endless Being sure of my Lord this much ...is something I hate Time goes on....she said something at the beginning and now she is even more sure of it (her fate)... Being sure of my Lord this much ...is something I hate being sure of her God to this extent is something that she hates...as she is sure that she never gets what her heart desires for... thats pretty much of it...*sigh*
Each stanza is beautifully composed seriously....and it doesn't seem like you purposely tried to bring "*ate" at the end of each one...it fits in perfectly..blending in with the overall flow... But could you please clarify what this means: "If you come today, it's too early If you come tomorrow, it's too late" My interpretation was that the wait was so long and the fact that she believed in destiny/fate so much that she subconsciously(or consciously) didn't want him anymore...but the stanzas make it seem like she waiting for him...a bit contradictory..Is it a battle of the mind and heart? So I'd like to know what you actually wanted to say...
My contribution.... Hey Garima, first of all 'hats off' to you for doing such a nice job... :nw: I also tried this and before posting, i saw ur thread... initially i was disappointed for not being the first one to post, but your work washed away my disappointment. its really worth appreciating your efforts... Here's what the few lines that i penned : My coffins getting ready, for my eternal sleep Coz tonights gonna be, my judgement day I am leaving you alone, to meet the great God, I hope to find him along, the sacred heaven's way This a moment to cheer, as my last day on earth I want to kiss you goodbye, but its not in my fate. While wishing you goodbye today, i feel its too early But saying that tomorrow, will be too late. I do not use the phrase exactly, but i am using just a 'flavour' of it.
@ i'm_not_neo....hope that explanation helps a bit...Thanks for reading @nils...Thanks alot... these lines are good too....this shows how differently each n every individual thinks about the same thing....
Forgive me for being the cause of that tedious work but thank you for doing that tedious work.. Excellent poem... Perfect Summary: "It depicts the conflict between the heart & mind of a girl who is at the initial stage of liking someone.....someone who was there in her life, whom she could get it touch with at anytime....and now as the distance is too much she has started realizing something.....they say that it's the absence of someone/something in your life which makes you realize their worth in your life...." Thank God my interpretation was not all that wrong!!!
Tell you what, i'm running around like a mad man right now. But when dusk sets in and i creep into my bed, i will have a little time and i will give you my candid opinions. Oh by the way, you're welcome.
wow! now u rote the thoughts in a a perfect manner... oh GOD U R GOOD!!! after looking at this thread i realised k i had to rite something too... even came up wid a thought but never got the time to put it into words... : the thought was about a guardian angel... that was the best thing i could think of once it said If u come today, its too early If u come tommorrow, it will be too late but ur poem made me go like :shock: hehe
