If Microsoft Made Cars ...

Discussion in 'Computer Forum' started by bob-bobby, May 11, 2005.

  1. bob-bobby

    bob-bobby Extinct or Banned!

    ha ha this is really funny :)

    1. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you'd have to buy a new car.

    2. Occasionally your car would just die on the motorway for no reason, and you'd have to restart it. For some strange reason, you'd just accept this, restart and drive on.

    3. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre would cause your car to stop and fail to restart and you'd have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason, you'd just accept this too.

    4. You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought a "Car 95" or a "Car NT". But then you'd have to buy more seats.

    5. Amiga would make a car that was powered by the sun, was twice as reliable, five times as fast, twice as easy to drive - but it would only run on five percent of the roads.

    6. Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to their cars which would make their cars go much slower.

    7. The oil, engine, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced with a single "General Car Fault" warning light.

    8. People would get excited about the "new" features in Microsoft cars, forgetting completely that they had been available in other cars for many years.

    9. We'd all have to switch to Microsoft gas and all auto fluids but the packaging would be superb.

    10. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.

    11. The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.

    12. If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened.

    13. They wouldn't build their own engines, but form a cartel with their engine suppliers. The latest engine would have 16 cylinders, multi-point fuel injection and 4 turbos, but it would be a side-valve design so you could use Model-T Ford parts on it.

    14. There would be an "Engium Pro" with bigger turbos, but it would be slower on most existing roads.

    15. Microsoft cars would have a special radio/cassette player which would only be able to listen to Microsoft FM, and play Microsoft Cassettes. Unless of course, you buy the upgrade to use existing stuff.

    16. Microsoft would do so well, because even though they don't own any roads, all of the road manufacturers would give away Microsoft cars free, including IBM!

    17. If you still ran old versions of car (ie. CarDOS 6.22/CarWIN 3.11), then you would be called old fashioned, but you would be able to drive much faster, and on more roads!

    18. If you couldn't afford to buy a new car, then you could just borrow your friends, and then copy it.

    19. Whenever you bought a car, you would have to reorganise the ignition for a few days before it worked.

    20. You would need to buy an upgrade to run cars on a motorway next to each other.
     
  2. 6string_addict

    6string_addict * Addicted Guitarist * <img src="http://www.indian

    haaa... heee..nice one....you know 1 thing..you are a gold mine....
     
  3. light_of_erindi

    light_of_erindi New Member

    i guess this is an extension of the comments made by the GE president...on Microsoft....
    one more.....to turn off the car u need to first press start button!!

    The story is somewhat like this... Old Billy commented in some event that if automibile industry had progressed at the same rate as software...we wud have had flying cars by now....
    to whic the GE guy responded with some of the comments.....
     
  4. lord_neo

    lord_neo Guest

    haha man microsoft jokes always crack me up.....
     
  5. cYpHeR

    cYpHeR Banned

    dude it was GM (general motors)....not GE...GM makes cars.... :p: :p:
     
  6. ronnieanand

    ronnieanand n00bier th@n th0u

    Too good. Especially the fifth one.
     
  7. adityabajaj007

    adityabajaj007 New Member

    hey buddy this is a humble request from ma side...plz cud u send me the chords for the song DO DIL MILRAHE HAI MAGAR CHUPKE CHUPKE from the movie pardes....i think yr work on ma bro nikhil was gr8..
    adi
     
  8. rust_in_pain

    rust_in_pain <:Rising Rockstar:>

    lolz man.microsoft jokes make me laugh even bfore reading them.as 6string addict said,bobby u r a gold mine.

    i think many of u know this but it hasnt been mentioned bfore:during the lanch of WINDOWS 95 the computer hanged the very 1st time infront of all the media.think of wat billy would have done to the person incharge!!!!!lolz
     
  9. ronnieanand

    ronnieanand n00bier th@n th0u

    I think that was Windows 98 which showed a Blue Screen in front of the media.
     
  10. 6string_addict

    6string_addict * Addicted Guitarist * <img src="http://www.indian

    Bill Gates is dead...
    ********************
    Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself in purgatory, being sized up by St. Peter. 'Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call; I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows '95. I'm going to do something I've never done before in your case; I'm going to let you decide where you want to go.'

    Bill replied, 'well, what's the difference between the two?' St. Peter said, 'I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly, if it will help your decision.'
    'Fine, but where should I go first?'
    'I'll leave that up to you.'
    'Okay then,' said Bill, 'Let's try Hell first.'
    So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters and lots of bikini-clad women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining; the temperature perfect. He was very pleased.

    'This is great!' he told St. Peter. 'If this is hell, I really want to see Heaven!'

    'Fine,' said St. Peter, and off they went.
    Heaven was a place high in the clouds, with angels drifting about, playing harps and singing. It was nice, but not as enticing as Hell. Bill thought for a quick minute, and rendered his decision.

    'Hmmm. I think I'd prefer Hell,' he told St. Peter.

    'Fine,' retorted St. Peter, 'as you desire.' So Bill Gates went to Hell.

    Two weeks later, St. Peter decided to check on the late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When he got there, he found Bill, shackled to a wall, screaming amongst hot flames in dark caves, being burned and tortured by demons.

    'How's everything going?' he asked Bill.

    Bill responded, with his voice filled with anguish and disappointment, 'this is awful! This is nothing like the Hell I visited two weeks ago! I can't believe this is happening! What happened to that other place, with the beautiful beaches, the scantily-clad women playing in the water?'

    'That was a screen saver,' replied St. Peter.

    :rock: :rock: :rock:
     
  11. rust_in_pain

    rust_in_pain <:Rising Rockstar:>

    lolz lolz.......

    no i m sure it was 95
     
  12. bob-bobby

    bob-bobby Extinct or Banned!

    lol this was a second joke in this thread !!!

    aditya ,. pls search the forum with your request , if you cant find it create a thread in an appropiate forum with your request - i am sure , u d get what you want !!!
     
  13. 6string_addict

    6string_addict * Addicted Guitarist * <img src="http://www.indian

    :dance: :p: :p: :p:
     
  14. JAZZ

    JAZZ New Member

    ther ll b only 95,98 ,2000,2001 model cars only
     
  15. ajax_ds

    ajax_ds STRIDER

    he he ..... guess to add more zing we could always have linux cars
    & microsoft stealing all the apple car designs.... :)
     

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