I Will ! :)

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by rocker_vish, Jan 15, 2008.

  1. rocker_vish

    rocker_vish New Member

    hola, lon time no c ...! good 2 cu guyz :) posting some awesome sht :D, newayz i hope u guyz have a good read :D comments, alwayz luv em :D

    Pray 4 the motivated to get where he wanna ! ;) :D

    this is kinda song cum poem :p

    I WILL :) !

    ok lets start it this way,

    i was a looser....(still??)
    things i said, i never did,
    goals that i had set, neva achieved,
    i knew where 2 go,,but didnt knw how 2 get there..,
    Actually,path was so straight but, self - created dead ends!

    i wanted 2 touch the sky,
    wanted 2 shine like a star,
    wanted to b some 1 , with everything!
    but now im the one possesing nothing!

    loved ones with expectaions high,slammed on the floor so hard.
    Every eye contact, increasing guilt inside,
    Shameful im , Hopeless i dont waann b.
    Meaningless! ma words stated before i start!
    Yes, Eclipsed!, ma light of hopes!

    i wanted 2 touch the sky,
    wanted 2 shine like a star,
    wanted to b some 1 , with everything!
    but now im the one possesing nothing!

    Now, things will change!
    They will turn out 2 , the way i want it 2 b!
    dead ends will b extended! till ma path of success!!
    Massive change ! yes!
    Cant live with the guilt, dont waana die with 1 !
    Alteast do enough so i can love maself!
    No matter hw hard i fall, i will rise!
    Dont waana b like,small broken pieces, hard 2 GLUE!
    some 1 said,
    "Everyone has the ability to be anything they want to be, there are few, that choose to be who they are."

    i believe him!"now" !

    success, here i come,
    hold me tight!:D

    I WILL touch the sky,
    I WILL shine like a star,
    I will b some 1 possessing everything! :) !
  2. madhuresh

    madhuresh madhuresh


    TIME drops in decay,
    Like a candle burnt out,
    And the mountains and woods
    Have their day, have their day;
    What one in the rout
    Of the fire-born moods
    Has fallen away?

    ....william butler yeats

    all is perception victory or defeat and moods change....

    good attempt !
  3. rocker_vish

    rocker_vish New Member


    lol i hardly follow ne poet! =)) madhuresh ur poems r awesome sometimes hard 2 understand but yeah awesome!!!

    thanx 4 ur comments keep it comng!

    every 1 esle..... :( :( where ru guyz :( :(
  4. i'm_not_neo

    i'm_not_neo el valor máximo absoluto

    Haha..well the optimism is downright obvious.And I would hate to criticize an optimistic one.Anything that gives hope is never bad.I can see you weren't concerned with rhyming..good.The only thing that was a tad bit irritating was that I couldn't catch the flow.I mean you hadn't rhymed at most of the places AND the stanzas had variable no. of lines..so it was hard to catch a rhythm.Felt like a prose at times.And some lines could be,errr...better put/stated.BUT,it shouldn't matter.The message was loud and clear.
  5. rocker_vish

    rocker_vish New Member

    neo, seriously was waitin 4 ur reply ... :D ... firstly, i m neva concerned abt ryhming *yet i call it a poem* :p newayz, at some place it jst happens!(ryhming)
    its jst that i wanna b clear abt my idea ..which i like to pen in simple words!

    talkin abt this particular poem, lol i was actually gonna write a song...that is why u can c
    paras repeating ...consider them as chorus :p in end it turned to be somethin in between...newayz, i dont knw i personally like this shit what i have wriittten...ne improvements i can make plz do lemme knw!!

    newayz, keep it coming neo....ur a good critic :p ...' ya overall it was good..some words here n there ' :p :p hehehehe:p
    *i wish someday i can pen like the FLOYD's ^:)^ *
  6. i'm_not_neo

    i'm_not_neo el valor máximo absoluto

    You know,I read this poem and the way it was carelessly put,I could tell this was more of a heartfelt effort.That's why I refrained from commenting too much on the "flow" of the poem.

    Ultimately,that's all that matters.
  7. rocker_vish

    rocker_vish New Member

    u got it right it was more of a heartfelt effort!

    Neo, make me understand difference between a well framed, organized and high level vocab and a poem written in much a simpler manner , a bit unorganized ...in d end what matters is the msg that poem trying to gv out! how high the eyebrows raise doesnt matter on how well u frame it but what ur tryin to say!
    thats how i think !
    personally , im not influenced by ne poet as i dont refer to ne:p :p i jst come up with some random shit and i pen it the way i like it :D

    Neo u urself and others here are awesome writers full respect man .....and whatever u guyz comment will help me :D

    lol i dont knw why others dnt bother to reply! :|
  8. i'm_not_neo

    i'm_not_neo el valor máximo absoluto

    Yupp,I could tell it was.And "carelessly" was not meant in a bad way.

    Ok,so I'm replying to your second paragraph in the reply above.Well,"high vocabulary",I've come to know is not used as a show-off but often as a way to express complex ideas.Some words better define a situation and often one word of "high vocabulary" can replace what many lines can't say.

    The message,of course,is the soul of a poem.But a soul needs a body.My bad analogies aside,often,the message loses its credibility due to the presentation.For eg, you can read Sukrut's Ocean Of Sorrow or even "The Fool & the lamp" written by me.

    My point is,the way you write is just as important as what you write.If you can blend the two together,you get a masterpiece.
    None of this,is related to your write.Its more of a general statement.And as I said,your theme was optimistic enough to neglect the presentation as such.
  9. rocker_vish

    rocker_vish New Member

    satisfactory reply neo.. :)

    P.S -> aare the 2nd parah in ma above reply , ahh i was jst asking in general..not considering this particular poem....! :)

    and also, aare yaar it is very annoying when ppl dont bother to comment re...i dont wanna hear good abt me ....but the bad.. so i can b better next time;)

    lub u guyz :) cheerss ::beer::
  10. Angira

    Angira New Member

    Nice bro... u know sumwhere ur poem is well fitted on me!!! hahaha.....gud kip rytng:)
  11. rocker_vish

    rocker_vish New Member

    thanx for reading:)

    and yeah, life is a straight road with hell lotta red signals... ;)

    every individual at some point, in their lives, will come across this knda situation...! :D

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