i love you

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by 2good4you, Dec 13, 2006.

  1. 2good4you

    2good4you New Member

    I Love You
    With my every breath,
    With all I have left,
    From the deepest depths,
    Of my heart, I love you.

    With all of my strength,
    With ten miles' length,
    Every thought I think,
    I think that I love you.

    For the length of forever,
    As long as we're together,
    Through good and bad weather,
    For always, I love you.

    Until the very end of days,
    Until God takes my breath away,
    Until death separates our ways,
    Until then, I love you.

    When no one is there,
    When you think no one cares,
    When love seems too rare,
    Remember, I love you.

    When you fall down,
    When your dreams come unwound,
    When hope can't be found,
    Be happy, I love you.

    When you make mistakes,
    When you're filled with hate,
    When you're old and gray,
    Even then, I'll love you.
    i'm_not_neo likes this.
  2. born2tab

    born2tab rhythm guitarist

    Nice try to start with....good one..
  3. alpha1

    alpha1 I BLUES!

    See I knew, you also love me.
  4. 2good4you

    2good4you New Member

    @born2tab: thanks.... its my 1st try....

    @alpha1: read ur PM...
  5. bjr

    bjr Lady of the Evening

    It's sweet but far too cliche. I mean...I've heard the same thing time and again said the same way. You've got to try and break away from general perspective and give it some of yours instead.
  6. i'm_not_neo

    i'm_not_neo el valor máximo absoluto

    Agreed,it seems like just another love poem but what I liked was the simplicity of the poem..the simplicity makes it feel like the poem came straight from the heart..'Coz ,you know,if ppl can't come up with a new concept for a "love poem" they just try make the poem sound profound..

    To sum it up
    The poem is simple.
    It seems genuinely from the heart.
    There's no pretense there.
  7. madhuresh

    madhuresh madhuresh

    ^^ agree with the above 2 gentlemens ...;) try karte rahoo kuch na kuch naya aa hi jayega
  8. 2good4you

    2good4you New Member

    thanks guys... actually u do have a point there... i'll surely keep that in mind for the next time...

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